Biden Wonders Why People So Upset About A Haitian Rodeo

Haitian rodeo

WASHINGTON – President Joke Biden seemed confused today after photos of a US Border Patrol agent wrangling a Haitian border crosser went viral. The officer is on horseback, and appears to be trying to corral a wild Haitian. “I don’t see what all the hubbub is about,” said Biden. “Looks like a good ole-fashioned Haitian rodeo to me. What’s wrong with that?” His spokesgirl Jen Psaki addressed his position to reporters. “While I, Vice President Harris, and many on the Left, are faking outrage over these images of made-up cruelty,…

Read More

Emmy Voters Forced To Attend ‘Black Acting School’ After Whites Sweep 2021 Awards

Emmy voters

ATLANTA – A day after the 2021 Emmy Awards show, enrollment swelled at the Black Acting School here. It turns out that voters awarded white actors wins in every major category. No POC claimed any of the main acting categories. It was celebrity white privilege on display for the whole nation to see – if they had watched the show. Humiliated at their lack of diversity, all white Emmy voters (20,000+) have been auto-enrolled in Robert Townsend’s Black Acting School. Townsend started the school in 1987. The purpose is to…

Read More

White House: Drone Attack Was Mercy Killing To Save 10 From Being Killed Later By Taliban

drone attack

WASHINGTON – Following the deaths of 13 US military members in Afghanistan, President Joke Biden needed a distraction. He needed to drone attack somebody over there – anybody. Then claim it was some really bad guys. After getting caught lying about who they killed in the drone attack, the spin was on. General Mark Milley, a self-described Paul Revere, said the attack was supposed to take out those who planned the Kabul Airport attack. Instead, Biden’s drone strike killed an aid worker and 9 others, including 7 children. “While unfortunate,…

Read More

AOC Brings Awareness To Rashes With ‘Ax The Ich’ Dress At Met Gala

Met Gala

NEW YORK – Democrat Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) attended the Met Gala event this week. The event is a costume party/fundraiser for rich, liberal freaks and/or Democrats. Money raised benefits the Costume Institute here. AOC’s dress caused quite a stir. For some reason, the socialist politician wore a white dress with the words ‘Ax the Ich’ in red letters on her backside. Many attendees promoted various woke causes, but it was strange that Cortez chose the event to bring attention to rashes. “Nobody should have to, like, ich all the time,”…

Read More

Blinken Says About 100 ‘As-Of-Now-Unbeheaded’ Americans Still In Afghanistan

Blinken

WASHINGTON – Antony Blinken, one of the architects of President Joke Biden’s Afghanistan debacle, testified to Congress today. The Secretary of State (SoS) hid behind a Zoom screen for the hearing, instead of appearing in person (because Covid). Under questioning from House members, Blinken spun, dodged, ignored, and deflected any criticism he faced during the appearance. When asked how many Americans are still being held hostage in Afghanistan, Blinken seemed unsure. “We believe there are roughly 100 ‘as-of-now-unbeheaded’ Americans still in the country. But what do I know? We’ve been…

Read More

Biden Considering Using Taliban To Enforce His Tyrannical Vaccine Mandates

tyrannical

WASHINGTON – President Joke Biden needled the unvaccinated in America today. Unveiling his new, tyrannical vaccine mandate program, Biden has decided to rule with an iron fist. “We’ve been patient, but our patience is wearing thin. And your refusal is pissing me off,” he told the un-vaxxed. Biden claimed to follow the science and explained new ways the Delta variant behaves. “We’ve learned that the covid-19 delta strain cannot affect you if you work for a company that has less than 100 employees. That’s why, today, I’m ordering all companies…

Read More

Can Biden Maintain Such A High Level Of Incompetence For Rest Of Term?

incompetence

WASHINGTON – In a little over six months, Joke Biden has set the new standard for incompetence. Past US presidents have shown incompetence in certain areas, but Biden excels in failing in every area. That takes a special gift. But can he keep it up? Biden has wondered the same thing himself recently. “Look, folks, I can’t promise I’ll always be able to be this incompetent. Yes, I really screwed the pooch in Afghanistan. And the border. And the economy. And on COVID-19. This is world-class incompetence. Frankly, I’m exhausted.…

Read More

CNN’s Don Lemon Recommends The Unvaxxed Abstain From Breathing

unvaxxed

NEW YORK – CNN’s Don Lemon is scared to death of COVID. He’s a devoted Fauci-ite. As such, he views the unclean, unwashed, unvaxxed masses as less than human. And if you’re one of those sub-humans, he’s got some unsolicited advice. “I do believe those who choose not to get the shot should not go to the hospital if they get sick,” Lemon told BFF Chris Cuomo on air this week. “I also believe the unvaxxed should follow CDC guidelines by not traveling this Labor Day weekend. But I think…

Read More

Louisianans Grateful Biden Not Calling Shots For Hurricane Ida Evacuations

Hurricane Ida

BATON ROUGE – Millions of residents across the state will thankfully survive the incoming wrath of Hurricane Ida. And after his Afghanistan disaster, most of those Louisianans are thanking God that Joke Biden isn’t overseeing evacuation plans. The president commented on the storm preparations today. “Nobody asked me for help, which is strange,” Biden told reporters. “I would encourage the fine people of Louisiana to shelter in place until the hurricane passes, and THEN I would urge them to get to safety. Some will tell you that’s backwards, but that…

Read More

Biden Variant Responsible For Spike In Death Rates In Afghanistan

Biden variant

KABUL – A new strain of COVID-19 is currently wreaking havoc across Afghanistan. The Biden Variant is the latest version of the CoroNoDontBlameUs virus, which has resulted in a sharp spike in innocent deaths in the region. The Biden Variant was engineered by woke military leaders, and released on the world by US President Joke Biden. It’s a hideous disease. The administration combined incompetence, arrogance, corruption, indifference and stupidity to tweak the latest strain. The Biden Variant was then given to terrorists to serve as carriers of the virus. In…

Read More