WASHINGTON – Vice-President Joe Biden was released into the wilds of Loyalsock State Forest, in his beloved Pennsylvania, after being awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom from President Obama. Biden was last seen running into the forest, shouting, “Y’all ain’t never puttin’ me back in chains!”
Uncle Joe has needed his freedom from Washington for many years now, and it was nice to see him so happy again. Similar to “being put out to pasture,” Joe will live off the land, terrorize hikers, and dazzle all kinds of small, woodland creatures with his stupidity.
The Parks Service released a statement to campers and anyone else who may have a chance encounter with the soon-to-be-former Vice-President. “Should you find yourself face to face with VP Biden, the best defense is to fire two (2) shotgun blasts into the air. That should frighten him away.”
Biden will have a brief adjustment period as he gets used to his new surroundings, but Obama feels this is just what the VP needed, saying, “He deserves this. For Joe, this is a big f*#king deal.”