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Hillary Clinton Wonders: “Where Were Slain Police Officers’ Security Details?”

Hillary Clinton Wonders: “Where Were Slain Police Officers’ Security Details?”

BATON ROUGE (The Barbed Wire) – Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton waited 7 hours to release her statement on the killings of 3 police officers in this city at the hands…

Pink Floyd to Release Children’s Bedtime Book: Dark Side of the Mattress

Pink Floyd to Release Children’s Bedtime Book: Dark Side of the Mattress

London – After decades of churning out original, trippy, bizarre and beautiful music and selling kazillions of albums, Pink Floyd have announced they intend to release a children’s book this…

List of Top 10 ‘Most Body-Slam Worthy’ Members of Media Released

List of Top 10 ‘Most Body-Slam Worthy’ Members of Media Released

MONTANA – So a member of the Montana GOP roughed up a member of the press. A Montana think tank has released the latest list of what they call the…

Hillary Appoints Self “President of the United Woods of Chappaqua”

Hillary Appoints Self “President of the United Woods of Chappaqua”

NEW YORK – Trying to hang on to some shred of relevancy, failed presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has finally triumphed in her bid to be president of something. She announced…

Future Baristas Walk Out on VP Pence Commencement Speech

Future Baristas Walk Out on VP Pence Commencement Speech

NOTRE DAME – About 100 current and future Starbucks baristas walked out on their own graduation ceremony this weekend as Vice President Mike Pence began his commencement speech to the…

FBI Nut Job Comey Hid From Trump Behind Curtains

FBI Nut Job Comey Hid From Trump Behind Curtains

WASHINGTON – Disgraced former FBI director James Comey has admitted hiding behind blue curtains at an inauguration event, in an attempt to avoid a new President Trump. Comey is 6…

Ted Nugent Schools Stephen A. Smith on Fox News: “I Got You in a Stranglehold, Baby”

Ted Nugent Schools Stephen A. Smith on Fox News: “I Got You in a Stranglehold, Baby”

NEW YORK – Rocker Ted Nugent and ESPN liberal Stephen A. Smith were guests on FNC’s new afternoon show Fox News Specialists on Thursday, and had a spirited…

Nancy Pelosi Begins Botox Strike “Until Trump is Impeached”

Nancy Pelosi Begins Botox Strike “Until Trump is Impeached”

WASHINGTON – Going without food for long periods of time, known as a hunger strike, is a drastic way to gain attention for your cause. But House Minority Leader Nancy…

Trump Heads to Bathroom, Democrats Question Timing

Trump Heads to Bathroom, Democrats Question Timing

WASHINGTON – President Trump got up from his chair in the Oval Office Friday afternoon and headed to the bathroom. The move has many Democrats questioning the president’s…

Anderson Cooper Pleasures Self During Kellyanne Conway Interview

Anderson Cooper Pleasures Self During Kellyanne Conway Interview

ATLANTA – CNN has been reviewing tape after anchorman Anderson Cooper was caught pleasuring himself in the middle of an on-air interview with Trump counselor Kellyanne Conway. Cooper tried…

Numerous Democrats Injured After Making Comey Support U-Turn Too Fast

Numerous Democrats Injured After Making Comey Support U-Turn Too Fast

WASHINGTON – Thousands of Democrats around the country have been injured when their views and selective outrage made a sudden u-turn too fast in their support for fired FBI…

Hillary 2017-18 Calendar Released and Every Day is October 27, 2016

Hillary 2017-18 Calendar Released and Every Day is October 27, 2016

NEW YORK – Hillary Clinton and her new resistance to President Trump super PAC have released her new calendar for the rest of 2017 and 2018. It’s a…

Democrats Freaking Because Pre-Existing Condition of Liberalism May Not Be Covered

Democrats Freaking Because Pre-Existing Condition of Liberalism May Not Be Covered

WASHINGTON – While many pre-existing conditions will be addressed as Congress continues to work out details of a new health care bill, Democrats are freaking out, worrying that their…

Late Show’s Colbert Officially a Turd Nugget After Calling Trump ‘Putin’s C*ck Holster’

Late Show’s Colbert Officially a Turd Nugget After Calling Trump ‘Putin’s C*ck Holster’

NEW YORK – CBS has got to be grinning from ear to crooked ear after their favorite son of late night TV grabbed headlines this week for slamming President Trump…

North Korea Unveils Newest Rocket, Tests Planned

North Korea Unveils Newest Rocket, Tests Planned

PINGPONG, N KOREA – Try as they might, North Korea hasn’t had much luck with their rocket launches lately. They’d like to impress their enemies by…

Success! After 100 Days of Trump Presidency, Hillary Still Not President

Success! After 100 Days of Trump Presidency, Hillary Still Not President

WASHINGTON – There is tons of talk by the mainstream media about their invented “first 100 days” schedule for presidents to get things accomplished, and whether or not…

UC Berkeley to Offer New Degree Plan in Riotology

UC Berkeley to Offer New Degree Plan in Riotology

CALI – The University of California, Berkeley has had it with free speech and they’re not going to take it anymore. As everyone knows, when you disagree with…

Trump Hopes to Send Democrats to Mars By End of First Term

Trump Hopes to Send Democrats to Mars By End of First Term

WASHINGTON – Speaking today to an astronaut on the International Space Station, President Trump announced that he would like to send Democrats and members of the media to Mars by…

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