Colin Kaepernick: The Hillary Clinton of the Football World

NEW YORK CITY – Disgruntled kneeler, Colin Kaepernick, has become the Hillary Clinton of the National Football League. The former quarterback, just like Hillary, is on the outside looking in as the world goes on spinning without a care about them.

Now, Colin is filing a grievance against NFL team owners for colluding to keep him out of football. Apparently, the team owners are the Russians, working behind the scenes to keep him off the playing field. Kaepernick is definitely working right out of Hillary’s playbook.

Jerry Jones, owner of the Dallas Cowboys, said, “The only thing we owners colluded on was that we all agreed that he sucks – both as a person and a player. I would rather invest in Blockbuster stock than sign that guy to my team.”

Colin feels that his situation is everybody else’s fault, a la Hillary, and now he’s playing his victim card. Mrs. Clinton seems flattered by the comparison to Kaepernick. Speaking recently of his predicament, she said, “I think he’s being treated unfairly by teams and the fans. You can’t understand what he’s going through until you’ve walked a mile on his knees.”

Sports Illustrated even weighed in on the comparison. “Teams are afraid to take a chance on Kaepernick because, like Hillary did throughout last year’s campaign, they’re afraid he’ll take a knee on every play. We thinks Colin doth protest too much.”

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2 Thoughts to “Colin Kaepernick: The Hillary Clinton of the Football World

  1. Personally, I think Kaepernick is right…they DID collude to keep him out of the NFL. Just like they colluded to keep ME out of the NFL. Can you begin to imagine why an NFL team wouldn’t sign a 60 year old overweight, slow guy with terrible hands? I couldn’t either!

    1. E. Williams

      It’s a crime. You represent 60 year-old overweight slow guys with bad hands everywhere!

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