NEW YORK – Despite warning labels telling consumers not to eat their product, people, mostly Democrats, continue to eat Procter & Gamble’s Tide Pod detergent pacs. The colorful pacs are becoming such a health issue that New York State legislators are demanding that the manufacturer stop making the pods so delicious looking.
“Many of our citizens are not smart enough to know better than to eat Tide Pod detergent pacs,” a New York state representative who wished to remain anonymous declared. “Full disclosure here: I love the Spring Meadow scented pacs. It’s an acquired taste though.”
Darryl, a college student who voted for Hillary Clinton in 2016, can’t get enough of the brightly colored snacks. “My mom keeps buying the Free & Clear flavor, but I would really dig it if they’d come out with a Sour Cream & Onion or a smoky, BBQ-flavored Tide Pod. That would be awesome! My friend says it cleans your insides too.”
New York democrat Samantha Hemphill has written to the company, begging for her favorite flavors. “My ultimate taste treat would be a Chocolate-Caramel swirl Tide Pod. And for the holidays, they need a Pumpkin Spice or Candy Cane looking pods. How cool would that be?!”
“I know they have warning labels telling you not to eat the pods,” she said, “But I think they have to put those on all products.” So far, most Republicans have shown enough common sense to know better than to eat Tide Pods, but some people have to be saved from themselves, apparently.