MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell Hates Hammer Time, Hip Hop Music

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NEW YORK – MSNBC anchor Lawrence O’Donnell turned into The Hulk during commercial breaks of his show this week, due to MC Hammer showing up in the studio next door for a performance. Reportedly, O’Donnell was angry about MC not agreeing to appear on his show that night. The seemingly mild-mannered Lawrence was asked whether he hates all hip hop music, or just MC Hammer and his songs. He answered, “Son of a b*tch, that music *#%$* @*!!*&!, ^^#*%& and that +^$$#* @!&%$$ MC &%(**$@*!!!.” Here is a video clip…

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Jennifer Lawrence’s “Mother!” Bombs So Badly Sequel Already Announced

HOLLYWOOD – Paramount Pictures has announced the Jennifer Lawrence (J.Law) movie mother! (stylized with a lower-case m) has performed so poorly at the box office that the studio just has to make another one. The sequel, tentatively scheduled for a 2019 release date, will be titled mother! f*cker! The sequel title is a nod to the reactions of both Paramount executives and Lawrence when they saw opening weekend numbers for the flop. For Lawrence, the blame for the dismal attendance to the movie can be pinned on one person – President Trump.…

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Late Show’s Stephen Colbert Comes Out as Nazi

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NEW YORK – Late night television host Stephen Colbert shocked the entertainment world last night when he came out as a Nazi during his show. The Late Show comedian was in the middle of his monologue when he suddenly gave a Nazi salute. Colbert later explained his actions. “Look, I’ve long felt that progressives were a superior people to conservatives. And, if I could, I’d round up all conservatives and republicans, put them on trains, and send them off to the ovens. My good friend Chelsea Handler has even told…

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Pink Floyd Pens Children’s Bedtime Book: Dark Side of the Mattress

pink floyd

After decades of churning out original, trippy, bizarre and beautiful music, and selling gazillions of albums, Pink Floyd have announced they intend to release a children’s book this fall. Titled Dark Side of the Mattress, the book promises to break new ground in the young children’s genre. The group felt they needed to shake things up and take a break from the studio. David Gilmour, guitarist and co-lead vocalist of the popular band said, “It’s a chapter book, and has several chapter names that parents who were fans of our…

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Al Gore’s Latest Dire Predictions to Promote New Climate Movie

LOS ANGELES – In an effort to drum up curiosity for his An Inconvenient Truth sequel, self-appointed climate expert Al Gore gave an audience his latest predictions for our world over the next 5 years – if climate change does not immediately become the #1 priority for every nation on Earth. “I’m not trying to scare you just to scare you,” Gore told a crowd at a recent climate conference here. “In my Inconvenient Truth sequel, you’ll realize that I should have made the movie Waterworld instead. If we don’t…

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Tests on Lab Rats Show Detrimental Effects of Joe Scarborough’s Music

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NEW YORK – In case you missed it – lucky you – MSNBC’s former-Republican talk show host, Joe Scarborough, has decided to punish the world by releasing a music video for a song about President Trump. The song is called Mystified, and you will be as well. To prove just how terrible, lame, and sucktastic Joe’s foray into the music world is, a group of lab rats were subjected to the sights and sounds of his video. The results were as dramatic and nauseating as you might have guessed. Of the…

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CNN Viewers Confused: “Is Russia Story BS or a Big Nothing-Burger?”

nothing-burger

ATLANTA – CNN is having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week. And their viewers are too. Undercover videos, released by Project Veritas this week, have shown a CNN producer calling the Trump/Russia story “bullsh*t.” Meanwhile, network contributor Van Jones calls the story “just a big nothing-burger.” CNN’s viewers are left scratching their heads. “Well, which is it?” viewer Brett Kaufman asked. “If the next person comes out and says ‘there’s no there, there,’ I’m going to kick somebody’s can down the road. I won’t know what the hell…

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Feminists Angry “Wonder Woman” Not Like Them, Want “Wonder Bitch” Movie

HOLLYWOOD – They’ve got their knives out again. Feminists, led by Gloria Steinem and her Ms. Magazine, are upset that the latest Wonder Woman character currently ruling the box office is not more like them. They want “Wonder Bitch” to hit the big screen. “It’s just not realistic to my mind,” a Ms. Magazine writer said. “This Wonder Woman is beautiful, has perfect hair, a perfect body. She’s a badass, but also lets her emotions enter into her decisions. Emotions like love. There’s already too much love in this world.…

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List of Top 10 ‘Most Body-Slam Worthy’ Members of Media Released

MONTANA – So a member of the Montana GOP roughed up a member of the press. A Montana think tank has released the latest list of what they call the “Top 10 Most Body-Slam Worthy” members of our mainstream media. Montanans are a rugged bunch and they can sense when a member of the arrogant media needs a good smack down. Here is their latest list of those media types who could use having a can of whoop-ass opened on them: 10. Juan Williams – Whiny Juan, what else can…

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Ted Nugent Schools Stephen A. Smith on Fox News: “I Got You in a Stranglehold, Baby”

NEW YORK – Rocker Ted Nugent and ESPN liberal Stephen A. Smith were guests on FNC’s new afternoon show Fox News Specialists on Thursday, and had a spirited debate about immigration. After Nugent made the point that the media on the Left routinely try to deceive viewers and distort the issue by using only the word “immigration,” instead of differentiating between legal and illegal immigration, Smith conceded that Ted was right. “I got you in a stranglehold, baby. You best get out of the way,” Nugent remarked. Smith’s arguments were flimsy…

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