HOLLYWOOD – Known in Tinseltown as “the biggest elephant in the room,” movie mogul Harvey Weinstein has announced that he is personally financing his next project. The latest installment in the Alien saga, Alien vs. Sexual Predator, will also be written by Weinstein himself.
“I would love to play the sexual predator role myself,” Harvey told us. “I don’t want to give everything away, but I’m envisioning a crew of really hot, female astronauts who find themselves in an unfamiliar world where they’re being hunted by a sexual predator, and quite the ladies man – me – and that classic Alien monster that everyone is so familiar with.”
“As the girls try to survive attacks by the Alien creature, they each wrestle with what to do when they confront the Sexual Predator character. Do they capture him and turn him over to authorities, or do they worry what the move might mean to their careers if they do?”
“Do they take a payoff from the predator, and remain quiet, or take a stand and risk never working in this galaxy again?” Weinstein mused. “Remember, in space no one can hear you complain about sexual harassment.”
Harvey insisted the new movie won’t be too similar to the 2004 movie Alien vs. Predator or its sequel. “Those movies were devoid of any sexual harassment or threats of blackmail. It’s apples and oranges, come on.”