CALI – Due to the popularity of their house flipping show on HGTV, the network’s Flip or Flop stars, Tarek and Christina El Moussa, have been hired to see if they can take the lowly, dilapidated Democratic Party and turn it into something with a little curb appeal.
“I was excited to get the chance to try this,” Christina said. “It’s going to take a ton of work though. This party is a mess. It’s outdated, neglected, and falling apart in so many places. You’re not going to just slap a fresh coat of paint on it and viola. That’s what they did in ’08, using Obama for that splash of color.”
Tarek toured the Party and said, “Yeah, this one’s going to need a major overhaul. There’s faulty thinking throughout this place. Our biggest cost for this flip is going to be removing the communism from this place. It’s everywhere. Also, you can see in the back yard how the foundation of the Party has been dumbed down. That’s worse than having termites.
“Then, since Democrats don’t like walls, we’re going to need to knock out several of them.” “What’s that smell?” Christina asked with a disgusted tone. “That’s political correctness,” Tarek answered. “It’s everywhere. And I saw evidence of race cards and victim cards along the baseboards in the kitchen and in the attic. This is one of the worst I’ve ever seen.”
Christina told us the previous owner and his family spent all of their time and money on expensive vacations and the golf course, instead of taking care of the Party. “It just looks like this was a frat house………and the Party’s definitely over.”
“The best part of this project? No matter what kind of job we do for them, they’ll just throw more money at us, thinking that will eventually fix things!” Some people never learn.