NEW YORK – NO one was more shocked by the recent sexual abuse revelations about movie producer Harvey Weinstein than one of his best friends, Hillary Clinton. Because how well can you really know a best friend, right? But Hillary claims she was jolted by the story and described the impact the news had on her:
“I was shocked and appalled by these sexual predator stories,” Clinton said. “I had no idea. When I heard the news, only learning of it for the first time through the media, just like you, I was aghast. Stunned, horrified and thunderstruck. Devastated, panic-stricken, spooked and alarmed. Rattled, agog and flabbergasted. Dumbfounded, bowled over, perplexed and stupefied. Blown away, buffaloed, and taken aback. Traumatized, blindsided, dismayed and petrified. Bamboozled, floored, and disgusted. Obviously, I wasn’t rendered speechless.”
Weinstein himself has responded to her comments, saying, “Hillary won’t be winning any acting awards for her reaction pretending that she knew nothing of my sexual misconduct over the years.” Harvey is currently in Europe. House hunting.
Hillary’s husband Bill simply said, “Let me tell ya, it sucks to get caught. I just hope Harvey finds the home, I mean, help he needs overseas – in a beautiful, non-extradition country somewhere.”