Hillary Hangs With Her Homies, Pimps, Bitches, Jay-Z and Beyonce

CLEVELAND – Proving she’s the hippest grandma ever to seek the presidency, Hillary Clinton held a campaign rally where she hung out with her very close homies, Jay-Z and Beyonce. After pumping up the crowd with a barrage of f-bombs and n-words from the music superstars, Hillary addressed the supporters in her usual, screeching manner:

“Oh, thank you, thank you! I have so enjoyed having Usher and Bounce here to entertain us all tonight (strange looks from Jay-Z and Beyonce). I’ve been a big fan of rap music since I was a little gangsta in Chicago. In fact, many of you don’t know this, but I wrote Rapper’s Delight long before Sugarhill Gang made it famous.

And it always warms my heart to get together with all my pimps, bitches, homies, gangbangers, and n***as. Now, as you may have heard, the race is very tight right now. So, I’m going to need all you mothaf***ers to get out and vote on Tuesday if we’re going to beat Donald Trump!

If you voted for Barack Obama because he was black, then you can vote for me, someone who pretends to care about blacks. I feel another coughing fit coming on, so I’m outta here. Thank you all for coming out tonight. And remember, vote for a bitch or I’ll cut ya!”

Turning to Jay-Z once again, Hillary shouted, “Tone-Loc, will you regale us with one more of your fresh rhymes before we get out of here? Alright! Thank you all! Goodnight!”

 

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One Thought to “Hillary Hangs With Her Homies, Pimps, Bitches, Jay-Z and Beyonce

  1. She HAS to do something! She tried playing the saxaphone on MTV, but that didn’t work out very well…so she figured since she has no discernable talent, she needs to find people that actually HAVE some talent to campaign for her!

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