Hillary Morally Opposed to “Late-Term Investigations”

FLORIDA – At a campaign rally today, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton angrily told a small crowd that she’s morally opposed to “late-term investigations.” Late-term investigations have been controversial for years, going all the way back to when Hillary first entered public life.

“I find it unconscionable that the FBI is still carrying out late-term investigations in 2016. This is not who we are. I’ve been involved in what I also call ‘partial-truth investigations’ since I was first lady of Arkansas. I tell partial truths, but mainly lies, because that’s how I’ve always rolled.”

late-term

“But in ANY scandal, you have one, and only one, chance to catch me. If you can’t make it stick, then that’s too bad for you. And if I’m elected president, I’ll push for a constitutional amendment to outlaw all late-term investigations……of me. Just me. And Bill and Chelsea. And Huma, but that’s it!” Hillary shouted.

Mrs. Clinton has an ally in Attorney General Loretta Lynch for her cause to ban late-term investigations into her illegal activities going forward. “I’m morally outraged over this,” Clinton stated. “Director Comey screwed up and overlooked my wrongdoings this summer. You shouldn’t get a do-over just because you wrongly set a criminal free, regardless of whether evidence that had been withheld from you becomes known at a later date. This is America!”

Finally, Hillary encouraged her supporters to look up pictures of late-term investigations. “If that doesn’t change your stance on investigations, then you’re not human.” Her rally was sponsored by Planned Pardonhood.

Comments

comments


Share:

Comment

  1. Robert November 3, 2016 at 10:46 AM -

    I think you are wasting your talents in here. I believe you are better suited writing satirical humor for some sitcom. That way I’ll know it for what it is. Smearing someone you don’t like without proof is libelous.

    • E. Williams November 3, 2016 at 2:12 PM

      Do you have a job for me, Robert?

  2. Rich Hoffer November 3, 2016 at 7:20 AM -

    You know, I know you’re into irony and all that, but you actually nailed this on the “truth meter”! Nice job!!! AND you kept it funny…that’s the mark of a true talent!

    • E. Williams November 3, 2016 at 2:10 PM

      LOL! It’s hard to tell the difference these days. Thanks, Rich.

%d bloggers like this: