Hillary Uses Her New Throat Lozenge During Alma Mater’s Coughmencement Speech

WELLESLEY COLLEGE – Hillary Clinton delivered the commencement speech at her alma mater this week. However, during what can be called her “coughmencement” address, she started hacking away like she did numerous times on the campaign trail in 2016.

During this coughing fit, she pulled out a throat lozenge and popped it in her mouth. What she didn’t tell anyone is that she has had a special cough drop made just for her.

“The two things I’m best known for is lying and having coughing fits at inopportune times,” the two-time presidential loser said. “So, I was honored when a leading cough drop company asked if I would like a lozenge made specially for me.”

Luden’s “Luzer Lozenge,” as it’s being called, has an extremely bitter taste, but with a woodsy aroma. The makers suggest letting the lozenge lie in the mouth, allowing it to slowly melt and cover up whatever is causing the irritation. They say the drops contain a special ingredient that is rigged to soothe any cough.

According to the manufacturer, “You can’t move on from a coughing fit until it’s dealt with. A person might feel they are entitled to talk through a hacking episode, but they’ll soon come to realize that everybody knows they’re still struggling to find their voice, and they’re not fooling anyone.”

Asked if the company was going to stop making special cough drops for celebrities, they said, “Oh, no. Like us or not, we’re never going away. Just like Hillary, coughing fits suck, and can be very annoying. In fact, for inquiries regarding having your own special lozenge made, just email us.”

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4 Thoughts to “Hillary Uses Her New Throat Lozenge During Alma Mater’s Coughmencement Speech

  1. I know a few people that I’d rather see hack away quite honestly! Don’t give them that email address!!

    1. E. Williams

      You’re such a meanie. smh…lol

  2. R. G. Blod

    I don’t watch the lying fake news anymore! I’m 81 yrs and my neighbor is 96 and his mind is going a bit, and he asked me when she got out of prison on parole! I guess poor old Ben didn’t believe a criminal like her could still be walking the streets! Proverb: The wages of sin is death! I often wonder if old loud mouth will live to be 90+, or if the devil will call home sooner – – –

    1. E. Williams

      Your neighbor has more sense than James Comey!

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