Trump Drops Border Wall Talk: “We’ll Use Lasers”

NEW YORK – Presidential candidate Donald Trump has updated his vision for solving America’s illegal immigration problem. Trump has been criticized for his talk about constructing a tall wall along the southern border with Mexico. He’s now thinking a little more futuristic.

“Lasers, that’s what we’ll use,” the billionaire said. “A wall will look dated and unattractive years from now. And we have the technology to go high-tech in addressing this problem. I believe it would be more cost effective to use an array of lasers, linked together, to form a real deterrent to illegal immigration. And it’s going to look so cool. I promise you, it’s going to be so cool.”


Here’s how Trump said the laser defense would work: A complex, grid network of rotating lasers, looking like a spider web that’s always moving, will protect areas between tall pillars spaced about a mile apart.

If anything comes in contact with the live grid, it/they will be zapped with enough electricity to knock out even J.J. Watt. Border Patrol agents will be alerted to sparks along the grid and will request medical help to pick up the illegal and transport them to a Mexican hospital.

Think of it as a 2000 mile-long bug zapper for illegals. After people begin hearing stories of severe injuries happening to unfortunate souls who tried to sneak across our border, they will begin to fear the border, and attempts will decrease drastically – leaving Democrats to come up with a new scam to import future voters.





  1. bluebird of bitterness August 12, 2016 at 10:49 PM -

    I actually kind of like this idea.

    • E. Williams August 12, 2016 at 11:35 PM

      Same here!

  2. Rich Hoffer August 8, 2016 at 7:23 AM -

    So, before you know it…Mexico will be the perennial Olympic Pole Vaulting champions, right?

    • E. Williams August 8, 2016 at 8:10 AM

      Yep, just like the way the East Germans always won that event, before the fall of the Berlin Wall.

%d bloggers like this: