Obama to Address Nation About Lochte Incident in Rio

WASHINGTON – Recent riots in Milwaukee and unprecedented flooding in Louisiana were not enough to get President Obama off the golf course. But the threat to national security that the Ryan Lochte lying incident in Rio presents for the United States was too much for the president to ignore.

Olympic officials accuse Lochte of making up the story about being robbed when, in reality, he and several other swimmers may have vandalized a gas station bathroom. Mr. Obama, who was just outed for lying to America about paying Iran $400 million in ransom money for hostages, and who has covered for Hillary Clinton’s countless lies, said he couldn’t just stand on the putting green in light of Lochte’s brazen behavior.

“Let me be clear, this is a definite case of ‘swimmer’s privilege,’ on display for the entire world to see. We need to set a better example than that. Though we are no longer respected around the world, we can’t have Olympic athletes flaunting the rule of law when visiting other countries.”

Obama said he will also caution the nation to not blame all swimmers for the actions of a few. “That’s not who we are,” he said.

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  1. Rich Hoffer August 19, 2016 at 8:26 AM -

    Hmm…if we paid $400 million for five hostages to Iran…how much are we going to pay for three Olympic swimmers to
    Brazil? Just sayin’!

    • E. Williams August 19, 2016 at 9:07 AM

      Yeah, I feel a tax hike coming soon for all of us. Maybe they’ll add a box on our IRS forms to donate to hostage release fund.

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