LONDON – The string of terror attacks in England has many Brits returning to wearing medieval suits of armor as an extra layer of protection against jihadist attacks. The metal suits would help prevent many injuries/deaths caused by bullets, knives, and shrapnel from explosive devices.
The Knight Shop, located in Colwyn, UK, has seen a massive surge in sales of their suits in recent weeks. Olly Richardson manages The Knight Shop, and says, “People are scared. I know suits of armor are cumbersome for everyday activities, but it just may save your life.”
“It’s sad that it’s come to this, but if our government isn’t going to seriously try to stop terrorists from coming into our country, the people have to protect themselves somehow. This just might be the best purchase you ever made.”
Wearing a suit of armor, a citizen is more likely to confront and try to slay a terrorist, than to run (slowly) for safety. This advantage could save lives by taking out the bad guys quicker.
Olly reminded us that vintage weapons – maces, war hammers, crossbows, spearheads and the like – are on sale right now too. “Besides, how else can you tell a terrorist you’re going to get medieval on their ass, and mean it, if you’re not wearing one of our suits?”