BOSTON – During the free speech rally here today, numerous anti-free speech, urine-throwing ANTIFA protesters said Confederate statue destruction is just the start. Next, the hate group wants to get rid of all statues of Rodin’s famous The Thinker. Why? ANTIFA peeps don’t like thinking very much.
Lionel Durrell, a paid protester from New Jersey, said the sculpture represents thinking for oneself, and there’s no room for that in our world today. Others in the vicinity of Durrell supported his logic.
“You know that one with the dude who looks like he’s sittin’ on the crapper? They call it ‘The Thinker‘ and it was made by some guy named Rodent, or something like that, a long time ago. Anyway, the real one is in another part of the world, but there are replicas of it all over the world – even in America! After we finish with the Confederate statues, we’re coming for that dude next.”
Lionel’s protester friends were in agreement that the only way they would not go after The Thinker statues is if they were always displayed with multiple other Thinker statues. “If there were, like, 8 of them positioned together, that could represent ‘group think,’ and we’re big into that,” one activist said.
ANTIFA (Activists Not Too Into First Amendment) members believe thinking is overrated and outdated. And if any thinking needs to be done about something, they say they’ll do it for us.