NY Post Promises Not to Publish Naked Pics of Bill Clinton’s Wife

NEW YORK – A few Americans were shocked at the photos of a naked Melania Trump, Donald Trump’s wife, on the front page of the NY Post yesterday. Thankfully, the paper has promised ALL Americans that they will not be subjected to having to see naked pictures of Bill Clinton’s wife.

In that regard, America has dodged a bullet. For revenue reasons, the Post decided to publish racy photos of a 25 year-old Melania, from a photo spread she did for a French magazine. The pictures have ensured Donald Trump of 88% of the votes from the all-important 25 and under male demographic.

Despite the fact that she did some modeling of her own, the Post says there will be no similar pictures of Hillary Clinton gracing their cover. Hillary has posed for Ample Cankles, Panthouse (a sister publication to Penthouse, but with models appearing topless and wearing only the bottom half of a smart pantsuit), Piano-legged Politicians, and Goldman Sex.

NY Post - Clinton
Attorney General Loretta Lynch is a fan of the Clinton cankles.

A spokesman for the NY Post said, “Our goal is to surprise, impress, and inspire the public. Were not here to mortify, traumatize the young, ruin appetites, or lose subscribers. Hence, the decision to go with Melania Trump over Bill Clinton’s wife.”

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5 Thoughts to “NY Post Promises Not to Publish Naked Pics of Bill Clinton’s Wife

  1. I’m on my last gallon of eye bleach, and at this rate, it isn’t gonna last long.

    1. E. Williams

      I’ve sent you a Hillary Care Kit that includes a fresh gallon. Should be there in a couple of days. Until then, try to avoid all news coverage of her.

  2. Just for the record, I could have down without the Bill and Hillary picture. At first glance I thought it was one of those Animal Planet ‘whale on the beach’ documentaries.

    1. E. Williams

      Just put it in for comparison, but I still feel your pain.

    2. LMaddelein

      I have bad eyesight and thought I read “whale is a bitch”. Well, that also fits !!!!!

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