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Politics

Georgia Democrat Jerkoff Needs More Money to Lose Runoff in June

Georgia Democrat Jerkoff Needs More Money to Lose Runoff in June

GEORGIA – It’s being called the “Jerkoff Runoff,” the race for Georgia’s 6th district, in which Democrats had high hopes that a fresh, young…

Beavis and Butt-Head Kick Off “Let’s Hate Trump” Tour

Beavis and Butt-Head Kick Off “Let’s Hate Trump” Tour

PORTLAND, MAINE – Democratic Party chairman Tom “Beavis” Perez and socialist Bernie “Butt-Head” Sanders kicked off their Let’s Hate Trump! tour to a…

Hillary Clinton Reduced to Modeling Shoes For Today’s Unlikable Woman

Hillary Clinton Reduced to Modeling Shoes For Today’s Unlikable Woman

NEW YORK – She’s certainly not Cinderella, but Hillary Clinton has now been reduced to pimping shoes for singer Katy Perry’s fashion line. The new pumps…

Susan Rice to Star in Upcoming Al Gore Film “An Inconvenient Sleuth”

Susan Rice to Star in Upcoming Al Gore Film “An Inconvenient Sleuth”

WASHINGTON – Now that her cover has been blown, former Obama partner in crime, Susan Rice is headed for the big screen. Al Gore, the creator of climate change scam…

Susan Rice Would’ve Gotten Away With It If Not For You Meddling Kids

Susan Rice Would’ve Gotten Away With It If Not For You Meddling Kids

WASHINGTON – You can start to hear the sh*t hitting the fan. Former ambassador and documented Benghazi liar, Susan Rice, has been outed as the villain who “unmasked…

The New Hillary Clinton – Rapper, Poet, Comedian

The New Hillary Clinton – Rapper, Poet, Comedian

SAN FRANCISCO – Speaking to a women’s business group yesterday, recently-freed-from-the-wilds Hillary Clinton workshopped her clever new mantra for 2017. She delighted the audience…

Paul Ryan Even Screws Up Own Family’s Drive-Thru Order

Paul Ryan Even Screws Up Own Family’s Drive-Thru Order

WISCONSIN – Fresh off bungling his party’s attempt at repealing Obamacare, House Speaker Paul Ryan had hoped to relax with his family this weekend and enjoy a drive…

Republicans Gamble, Come Up Short on Healthcare

Republicans Gamble, Come Up Short on Healthcare

WASHINGTON – Republican lawmakers failed in their attempt to gamble with, and pass, new healthcare legislation today. The defeat was a big choke for Republican leadership, especially Speaker Paul Ryan…

Fox News Says Judge Napolitano Benched for “Disturbingly Low Hairline”

Fox News Says Judge Napolitano Benched for “Disturbingly Low Hairline”

NEW YORK – Sources at Fox News Channel are denying reports that popular legal analyst Judge Andrew Napolitano was suspended from the network because of comments he made regarding former…

Hillary Ready to Come Out of the Woods, End Hibernation

Hillary Ready to Come Out of the Woods, End Hibernation

SCRANTON – Hillary Clinton, appearing disheveled and smelly, told a St. Patrick’s Day audience that she was ending her winter hibernation and was “ready to come out…