Polls: Hillary/Trump Locked in Satirical Tie

AUSTIN – Pollsters at the University of Texas say that a compilation of polls from across the country show Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump locked in a satirical tie for the presidency. Results showed Clinton with a 45% – 43% lead, with 12% completely unaware there is even an election in less than two weeks.

Margin of humor is plus/minus 3%, so the race is a satirical tie. Voters across all demographics admit that the thought of either candidate actually becoming an American president is highly ironic and twisted – one of the definitions of satire.

satirical

By an overwhelming majority, African-Americans support Mrs. Clinton while, at the same time, acknowledging that they suffer from Stockholm Syndrome and can’t seem to break the chains the Democratic Party has bound them in for the past 50 years.

Mr. Trump gets his biggest boost among “unhyphenated” Americans. These good people simply want Trump to put a stop to the insanity of the Left that has diminished the country. The implementation of the Leftist agenda has made it nearly impossible to distinguish reality from satire.

However, many polling experts don’t believe the current numbers showing Hillary with a slight lead. Since all the major media outlets stopped using journalistic standards and only crank out biased propaganda and satire, the numbers they report can no longer be trusted.

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  1. Emma Teves October 28, 2016 at 10:24 AM -

    It’s true the less educated minorities don’t have a clue as to what is going on in the political world here in the US, they just take as truth what the biased media has fed their friends and that is where they get their wrong information,,and since most of them are dependent on hand outs from the government they will always vote for the DemoRATS.

  2. Lynn Herlihy October 28, 2016 at 7:43 AM -

    You win, this is so true it’s no longer satire either!

    • E. Williams October 28, 2016 at 8:52 AM

      LOL! We’re in bizarro world.

  3. Rich Hoffer October 28, 2016 at 7:37 AM -

    Unfortunately, these polls are not quite as they seem. For the past month I’ve been telling all the pollsters that have been calling (and in AZ they’ve been calling a LOT!) that I’m voting for Hillary. in fact, all the people out here I know have been lying to the pollsters to screw up their results. Let’s see how well we did on November 8th!

    • E. Williams October 28, 2016 at 8:50 AM

      You, sir, are my hero!

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