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Christmas 2016: The Year of the Revenge Gift

Christmas 2016: The Year of the Revenge Gift

NORTH POLE – Santa has reported a huge surge in “revenge” gift giving this year, as liberals continue to be incapable of controlling their anger and bitterness following…

Fisher-Price Toy Controversy Brings Out Internet Paul Reveres

Fisher-Price Toy Controversy Brings Out Internet Paul Reveres

WHEREVER – Paul Revere is best known as a patriot in colonial days who alerted militia to approaching British forces before the battles of Lexington and Concord. An internet Paul…

ISIS Cheer Squad Rated Worst in World for Third Straight Year

ISIS Cheer Squad Rated Worst in World for Third Straight Year

RAQQA – ISIS has evolved since its inception in many ways. To give some of the more athletic militant fighters a creative outlet, the ISIS Cheer Squad was formed three…

Nation Celebrates SuperMonday One Day After SuperMoon

Nation Celebrates SuperMonday One Day After SuperMoon

HAWAII – Astronomers at the Gemini Observatory explained the supermoon phenomenon widely known as “SuperMonday,” as the nation celebrated the single Monday in decades where American workers, and…

Pantsuit Industry Decimated in Wake of Hillary Loss

Pantsuit Industry Decimated in Wake of Hillary Loss

CHICAGO – Just as factories were set to launch new designs and fill orders for pantsuits from coast to coast, Hillary Clinton’s loss in the presidential race has…

Trump Proposing Term Limits For Members of Media

Trump Proposing Term Limits For Members of Media

VIRGINIA – Donald Trump announced his top priorities for his first 100 days in office, if elected, and term limits for members of the media was high on his list…

Black Lives Matter Vandalism, Kaepernick Having No Effect on Black Shootings

Black Lives Matter Vandalism, Kaepernick Having No Effect on Black Shootings

WASHINGTON – According to a groundbreaking new study released today by the government agency assigned to handling statistics on crime in America, vandalism by members of the Black Lives Matter…

Obama on Internet Giveaway: “Al Gore Can Invent a New One”

Obama on Internet Giveaway: “Al Gore Can Invent a New One”

WASHINGTON – In case you haven’t been paying attention, the United States is just days away from handing over control of the internet to a multi-national body…

Possible Pseudonyms Used by President Obama in Hillary Emails

Possible Pseudonyms Used by President Obama in Hillary Emails

WASHINGTON – In case you’ve been too distracted by the riots in Charlotte, the FBI had another one of their “don’t look at these&#8221…

Judge Bans Anthony Weiner From Ever Using Electronics Again

Judge Bans Anthony Weiner From Ever Using Electronics Again

NEW YORK – A federal judge has banned Anthony Weiner from ever possessing any electronic device that could be used to communicate with another human being. Anthony finds his weiner…