Reebok

Reebok Honors Liz Warren With “Nevertheless, She Perspired” Shirt

CANTON, MA – In case you missed it, last week on the floor of the US Senate, Mass. Senator Elizabeth Warren was chastised for rebuking fellow Senator Jeff Sessions in the lead up to his confirmation as the new Attorney General. The incident lead to local athletic manufacturer Reebok releasing a new t-shirt to show support for Warren.

Her tormentor? Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. While Liz feels she was unfairly targeted, McConnell gave his explanation of what happened:

“Senator Warren was droning on and on about some letter she wanted to read, and she was dissing my buddy Jeff from ‘Bama. She was obviously getting all hot and bothered in the moment, and she had big sweat stains starting to show through her clothing around her armpits. I objected to her rant because I felt she needed to take some time to cool off. She was warned by the president of the Senate. Nevertheless, she perspired. There was literally a puddle of sweat where she was standing behind the podium, and we had to call in a janitor to mop things up before we could proceed with business in the chamber.”

McConnell’s advice to Warren after the controversial event was “not to sweat the small stuff. And to maybe try some deodorant for a change.”

Reebok said their new Warren-inspired shirts sold out quickly. The company hopes the controversy will make Reebok a relevant player in the athletic wear industry once again. The company also plans to release a moccasin-style tennis shoe this summer to honor Warren’s high cheekbones and Cherokee heritage.

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  1. Rich Hoffer February 15, 2017 at 7:41 AM - Reply

    Liz needs to try new Degree Deoderant. It doesn’t leave yellow stains on whites, and white stains on blacks. oops. That last comment could be construed to be racist, couldn’t it?

    • E. Williams February 16, 2017 at 7:09 PM Reply

      Shame on you! So racist.

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