RIYADH – The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia has finally given the green light for women to drive in that country for the first time. And with the new right comes a specially-designed car – just for the motoring Muslim female. Of course, they’ll have to (Ku)wait to get behind the wheel until next summer. Ba-dum-ba.
Introducing the 2018 Arabian Abaya from Mecca Motors Corporation. The brand new model is available in stylish black. Just black. The Abaya is completely covered, except for a small opening over the windshield for the driver to see through and the bottom of the tires. The model is named after abaya clothing that Muslim women wear to cover up with.
The 2018 Abaya is said to have great handling, but since the mirrors are all covered up, women will be taught to drive in straight lines – avoiding most turns – as much as possible. And for those excited Saudi women who say, “I can’t drive 55!” they needn’t worry. The Abaya is designed to reach speeds up to 45 kph…..from 0-45 in around 30 seconds, give or take. Remember, no halaling ass out there, ladies.
In addition, to preserve the environment, the 2018 Abaya will run on the blood of the non-believers, instead of petroleum products.
While it is great news that women in Saudi Arabia have finally won the right to drive, the privilege is not without its risks. Should a woman be found to be the guilty driver who causes a crash with another vehicle, she will be subject to having a hand chopped off, or being stoned, whichever the male members of her family choose for her.