Next Up: Left-Wing Fascists Want All Statues of Rodin’s “The Thinker” Removed

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BOSTON – During the free speech rally here today, numerous anti-free speech, urine-throwing ANTIFA protesters said Confederate statue destruction is just the start. Next, the hate group wants to get rid of all statues of Rodin’s famous The Thinker. Why? ANTIFA peeps don’t like thinking very much. Lionel Durrell, a paid protester from New Jersey, said the sculpture represents thinking for oneself, and there’s no room for that in our world today. Others in the vicinity of Durrell supported his logic. “You know that one with the dude who looks like…

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Anti-Trump Media Explain Charlottesville Violence in Pictures

VIRGINIA – If you’re one of those people who don’t watch CNN, MSNBC, PBS or any of the big network news shows, you might not know what really happened in Charlottesville last weekend. So, according to the media outlets named above, here is their take on the ‘one-sided’ violence, as explained with pictures of the event:             This is their version of events as they happened in Charlottesville, and the mainstream media is sticking to it. So, if you’re a Trump supporter, we’re sorry that…

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Statueism, Statuephobia Reaching Epidemic Levels Among American Left

DURHAM – Hatred and fear of statues has reached a fever pitch among liberal activists these days. Psychiatrists are seeing skyrocketing numbers in cases of statueism and statuephobia, in addition to the basic mental illness of liberalism, especially in poorly educated, college millennials. Statueism is defined as “prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against an inanimate sculpture, based on the fact that it hurts one’s feelings.” Statuephobia is defined as “an extreme or irrational fear of statues, especially those of historical figures.” Not understanding how to deal with their intolerance and…

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Liberal Supremacist and White Supremacist Groups Clash in Asshole Olympics

CHARLOTTSVILLE – The Asshole Olympics were held this weekend in Virginia, and both sides brought their “A” game. White supremacists faced off against liberal supremacists (those who like to call themselves anti-fascists, or as the media call them, “counter-protesters,” and the results were explosive. While the vast majority of America shook its collective head, the two fringe groups punched, kicked, and mowed each other down with as much hate and anger as they could muster. The competition left several players dead and numerous others with serious injuries. The battle of…

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Some Progressives Unaware ‘The Purge’ Was Just a Movie

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WASHINGTON – Apparently, many on the left were not aware that The Purge was just a movie, and is not a thing in real life. The shooting of a congressman, and other Republicans, by a crazy progressive, shows us that. Many in the fascist antifa movement even dress just like characters from The Purge movies. And based on their actions, they act like “purging” their enemies is an actual event. The left has tried to turn the spotlight back on the right, blaming President Trump’s rhetoric for their craziness. It just…

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UC Berkeley to Offer New Degree Plan in Riotology

CALI – The University of California, Berkeley has had it with free speech and they’re not going to take it anymore. As everyone knows, when you disagree with someone, that person should not be allowed to express their differing opinions near you – under any conditions. The use of force to stop such speech is not only allowed, but encouraged here. As the leader in restricting first amendment rights from those who oppose them, UC Berkeley will now begin offering an undergraduate degree plan in Riotology. Graduates of the program…

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