Leading Democrats Ponder Funding Research for ‘Arrogance Vaccine’

WASHINGTON – Denying they have a problem, leaders of the Democratic Party are at least responding to talk from some on Capitol Hill who insist it’s way past time for Democrats to invest in finding a cure for the arrogance that plagues their party. However, a reliable vaccine could take years, if not decades, to make it to market. Secretary of Stupid, John Kerry, who many liken to being no smarter than a rock, said he doesn’t understand why money should be spent on such a vaccine. “In case you…

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GOP Names Obama’s Ego Honorary Republican

WASHINGTON – House Republicans will pass a resolution designating President Barack Obama’s ego as an “honorary Republican,” when they return to work after the holiday. The legislation is meant to be a hat tip to the president, on his way out of office, for being so completely tone-deaf because of his massive ego. So massive, in fact, that he did more to grow the Republican Party than the GOP could have ever done by themselves. “It’s the least we can do,” said Rep. Jim Jordan. “The guy has screwed up…

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Democrat Election Autopsy Reveals Hillary “Just Not Arrogant Enough”

BROOKLYN – On a conference call with campaign staff yesterday, John Podesta went over results of the party’s election autopsy report, trying to soothe the pain that Clinton surrogates are experiencing following Hillary’s shocking loss to Donald Trump for the presidency. “Our analysis is that Hillary, and many of us on this call, were just not arrogant enough to suit the American electorate,” Podesta explained. “We thought we, and our accomplices in the media, were about as arrogant, self-righteous, and entitled as we could be. But, looking back, you sometimes…

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