Hillary’s Latest: “Pulled Hamstring Kept Me From Running Better Race”

NEW YORK CITY – Hillary Clinton limped to the stage a few days ago at the Plaza Hotel here, in an attempt to explain to her top donors why their hard-earned millions ended up being part of the worst political investment in history. The Clinton campaign managed to flush over $1 billion down the toilet, just to come in second. Granted, Mrs. Clinton faced strong headwinds in her quest for the presidency, only having had every available advantage known to man helping carry her to her throne. But, besides those…

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ISIS Gives Obama Couple of Months Off to Campaign for Hillary

PHILADELPHIA – As Hillary Clinton stepped off a curb and caught pneumonia last week, President Obama stepped up behind the podium to campaign for her. Like the rest of us, Obama can’t stand Hillary – but he values his legacy more than life itself. He only has a few months left in office (thank God), and fortunately for him, leaders of ISIS have decided to let him have the next couple of months off from his job to campaign for Mrs. Clinton.   A masked ISIS general said, “We understand…

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Clinton Campaign Says Hillary Has ‘Happy Pneumonia’

NEW YORK CITY – A day after collapsing while she was trying to board a van to leave a 9-11 ceremony, Hillary Clinton’s campaign is clarifying her diagnosis of pneumonia. If her people are to be believed, she has the best kind of pneumonia you can get. Hillary assistant Huma Weiner explained her boss’s condition this way: “Hillary does, in fact, have pneumonia. But she is an extraordinary woman, so she doesn’t have pneumonia like the commoners. She has what doctor’s call ‘Happy Pneumonia.’ Happy pneumonia is extremely rare, and…

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