Democrats Hope ‘DACA Alpaca’ Mascot Will Solicit Sympathy for Illegals

WASHINGTON – With their Dreamers crushed after their government shutdown strategy backfired, Democrats have announced plans to attach a face to the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) movement, in hopes of pulling at heartstrings to gain sympathy for their pet cause. The new mascot is the DACA Alpaca, a group of sweater-wearing Alpacas who strayed across the border while following their mama. The alpacas entered the country illegally, having never gone through a Fish & Wildlife checkpoint or wandering into a US Customs and Immigration Office. The DACA Alpacas…

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Jimmy Kimmel Graduates From Chuck Schumer School of Fake Crying

LOS ANGELES – Late night host Jimmy Kimmel has graduated from the Chuck Schumer School of Emotional Acting, Fake Crying and Blaming Trump. Kimmel completed his studies with a final exam performance on his show last night, using the Florida school shooting tragedy to promote gun control. Senator Chuck Schumer founded the school several years ago as a way to teach progressives how to use their emotions, platforms, and fame to push issues near and dear to democratic causes. Kimmel had jumped to the head of his class with several…

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Democrats Promise ‘A Better Deal’ With Same Wackos In Charge

WASHINGTON – What’s that saying? “The more things change, the more they stay the same?” That’s the game Democrats are playing with the American people as they try to put one over on the low-info crowd. The party’s Dept. of Official Slogan Creation has been working overtime to come up with their latest gem: “A Better Deal.” “Better cliches, better pandering. Papa Schumer.” This rebranding effort is sure to meet with the same success Coca-Cola had with their launch of New Coke in the 1980’s. The hype was crazy for…

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Trump Heads to Bathroom, Democrats Question Timing

WASHINGTON – President Trump got up from his chair in the Oval Office Friday afternoon and headed to the bathroom. The move has many Democrats questioning the president’s timing and motives. Why then? What was he up to in there? White House reporters and anchors from the mainstream media reported that Democrats in Congress were caught off guard by the move. In addition, CNN’s Chris Cuomo asserted that the “optics” of the move seemed highly suspicious. Senator Elizabeth Warren who, along with millions of Democrats, recently questioned the timing of…

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