Pantsuit Industry Decimated in Wake of Hillary Loss

CHICAGO – Just as factories were set to launch new designs and fill orders for pantsuits from coast to coast, Hillary Clinton’s loss in the presidential race has shattered an entire industry. Hopes to mainstream the same gaudy garb worn by Hillary have vanished overnight. South Side Textiles, based out of Hillary’s hometown of Chicago, was shell-shocked by Clinton’s upset loss. “We thought this was in the bag. That’s why we spent millions this year on new equipment and hiring additional workers. Now, we have to lay off thousands,” Nick…

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Hillary Clinton Wonders: “Where Were Slain Police Officers’ Security Details?”

BATON ROUGE (The Barbed Wire) – Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton waited 7 hours to release her statement on the killings of 3 police officers in this city at the hands of a racist, former Nation of Islam and Black Lives Matter coward, and the reason for the delay was her apparent confusion over how this could happen in 2016. Besides needing to run her statement by a couple of focus groups before publicly releasing her thoughts, Mrs. Clinton wondered why the slain officers both here, and in Dallas a couple…

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