Fly on Hillary’s Face During Debate Sent by Russia’s Putin

ST. LOUIS – Those watching the second presidential debate noticed a fly land on Hillary Clinton’s face, just as the candidate was delivering another round of bullsh*t to the audience with her answer to a question. Robby Mook, Clinton’s annoying, 15 year-old campaign manager, said he believes the fly landing was the work of Russians. “Everybody knows Putin and the Russians will stop at nothing to see Hillary defeated. Not even Trump could have pulled this stunt off.” The stealth fly, still on the loose tonight, landed just above Hillary’s…

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Tim Kaine Believes Answers to Life’s Mysteries Contained in Trump Tax Returns

VIRGINIA – After coming down from his debate high, Democratic VP candidate Tim Kaine explained why he just couldn’t let the issue of Donald Trump’s unreleased tax returns go during his interrupt-a-thon. Kaine tried to tie a number of issues to Trump’s tax returns, including finding out how Trump would handle the crisis in Syria, of all things. But the real reason he was so incessant about the returns being made public is because he believes the secret to solving climate change is contained somewhere in Trump’s taxes from the…

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“Drug-Fueled” Kaine and Disabled Ticket Takes Hit After VP Debate

VIRGINIA – After watching the Vice-Presidential debate on Tuesday, one thing was clear – Tim Kaine must have been on something. He was up and down and all over the place. And that was just his eyebrows. Kaine came off, even to many in his own party, as manic, hyper, out of control. He interrupted opponent Mike Pence 57 times during the 90-minute debate, causing most on social media to declare Pence the easy winner. No one knows what Kaine might have been cruising on. Was it lidoKaine, benzoKaine, novoKaine,…

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Hillary Complained About Graffiti on Backdrop of Debate Stage

NEW YORK – During the walk-through before the first presidential debate, Hillary Clinton pointed out something she didn’t think was appropriate on an American debate stage. She asked producers why there needed to be walls covered with graffiti behind both podiums on the big night. “Don’t get me wrong,” she said, “The lettering and work that went into that graffiti showed real talent by the artist. But what does it have to do with politics? It just seems oddly out of place.” Clinton’s staff were equally dumbfounded, unable to explain…

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