James Comey Appointed to Count Ballots After Speedy Email Count

WASHINGTON – Americans are ready for the national nightmare of Election 2016 to be over as soon as possible. So, to help facilitate quicker results for voters, FBI Director James Comey has been selected to personally count ballots as they come in from across the country tomorrow night. Comey sorted through, studied, cross-referenced, and speed-read through 650,000 Clinton emails in just 8 days. An incredible human feat, and probably a world record. As most Americans already know, our Constitution dictates that speed is far more important when it comes to…

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Hillary Morally Opposed to “Late-Term Investigations”

FLORIDA – At a campaign rally today, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton angrily told a small crowd that she’s morally opposed to “late-term investigations.” Late-term investigations have been controversial for years, going all the way back to when Hillary first entered public life. “I find it unconscionable that the FBI is still carrying out late-term investigations in 2016. This is not who we are. I’ve been involved in what I also call ‘partial-truth investigations’ since I was first lady of Arkansas. I tell partial truths, but mainly lies, because that’s how…

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FBI’s Comey Regrets Hillary Clinton’s Birthday Present Arrived Late

WASHINGTON – The announcement was big, and it got all the attention he’d hoped it would get, but FBI Director James Comey’s surprise birthday present for Hillary Clinton just couldn’t get there on time. The gift unfortunately arrived two days late. “I feel bad about that,” Comey told Congress in a letter. “I had wanted to give Hillary the big news that we were reopening the investigation into her emails on the 26th, which is her big day, but you know how slow the government works. Our agents just couldn’t…

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Possible Pseudonyms Used by President Obama in Hillary Emails

WASHINGTON – In case you’ve been too distracted by the riots in Charlotte, the FBI had another one of their “don’t look at these” document dumps on Friday afternoon. This time, revealing that President Obama not only knew about Hillary Clinton’s private email setup, but he used a pseudonym (false name or alias) to communicate with her to avoid detection. Hard to believe, but your president lied to you AGAIN last year when he tried to tell America that he only learned of Clinton’s secret email practices from news reports at…

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Latino Group Gives Hillary “Four Pendejos” For Email Lies

Hillary pendejo

LAS VEGAS – Politicians are known for lying to us, but Hillary Clinton lies to the point of insanity. Her latest effort has caused the Latino Bikers for Trump group (LBT) to give her “4 Pendejos” for thinking she’s telling the truth about her email debacle. Fact checking publications routinely give politicians 1-4 “Pinocchios” for a misstatement of fact, awarding a “1” for mild spin, to “4 Pinocchios” for full-blown making crap up that you can’t possibly believe the public is going to buy. On Fox News this past weekend,…

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