Pantsuit Industry Decimated in Wake of Hillary Loss

CHICAGO – Just as factories were set to launch new designs and fill orders for pantsuits from coast to coast, Hillary Clinton’s loss in the presidential race has shattered an entire industry. Hopes to mainstream the same gaudy garb worn by Hillary have vanished overnight. South Side Textiles, based out of Hillary’s hometown of Chicago, was shell-shocked by Clinton’s upset loss. “We thought this was in the bag. That’s why we spent millions this year on new equipment and hiring additional workers. Now, we have to lay off thousands,” Nick…

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Pantsuit Industry Nervous About Prospects of Hillary Loss

BANGLADESH – Speaking through an interpreter, the owner of a textile factory in this South Asian country spoke to us about the nervousness those in the third-world, pantsuit sweatshop industry are feeling should Hillary Clinton lose her bid for the US presidency this November. “It would be devastating for our workers. Nobody else wears that crap. If she wins, and beats Mr. Trump, we’re golden for at least the next four years. But, God forbid she should lose, the ripples throughout our pantsuit industry would be far-reaching.” “It’s true that…

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