Wife Orders Shrimp Instead of Steak, Leaves James Comey ‘Confused and Concerned’

comey

WASHINGTON – Trying to enjoy a nice dinner with his wife at an upscale DC restaurant following his tense testimony to Congress, former FBI director James Comey was left “confused and concerned” after his wife threw him a curve ball while ordering. “We’ve eaten at this place many times in the past,” a flustered Comey said. “She always has a nice steak, occasionally a pasta dish, but tonight, out of nowhere, she orders the shrimp dish. I don’t know what to make of it! I’m thinking turf the whole time,…

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Bars Serving Democrats Comey Happy Hour Specials, “Nothingburgers with Russian Dressing”

WASHINGTON – Bars in the nation’s capitol will be opening at 9 am Thursday to take advantage of the local demand to watch former FBI director James Comey’s testimony to a congressional committee. Comey will be discussing details that Democrats hope will lead to President Trump being drawn and quartered in the public square. However, because there is a high likelihood that his testimony will be less than satisfactory to those with Trump Derangement Syndrome, bars are offering happy hour specials to patrons. Curtis Parker, manager of the Red Derby…

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FBI Nut Job Comey Hid From Trump Behind Curtains

WASHINGTON – Disgraced former FBI director James Comey has admitted hiding behind blue curtains at an inauguration event, in an attempt to avoid a new President Trump. Comey is 6’8″ tall, but listed as 6’9″ on the FBI roster. Trying to hide when you’re that tall has its own set of problems. Comey initially tried to hide under a desk but was too long to fit under it, and he hit his head on the desk when rising to his feet moments later. “I tried hiding behind a lamp, but…

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Numerous Democrats Injured After Making Comey Support U-Turn Too Fast

WASHINGTON – Thousands of Democrats around the country have been injured when their views and selective outrage made a sudden u-turn too fast in their support for fired FBI director James Comey. They had previously despised the man for costing Hillary Clinton the presidency. Today, suddenly, James Comey is their Jesus. Many of those injured suffered whiplash injuries from changing their support for Comey so suddenly. Normally, people will slow down to make a u-turn, but Democrats didn’t bother to brake even a little before changing course. One doctor who…

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Hillary Morally Opposed to “Late-Term Investigations”

FLORIDA – At a campaign rally today, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton angrily told a small crowd that she’s morally opposed to “late-term investigations.” Late-term investigations have been controversial for years, going all the way back to when Hillary first entered public life. “I find it unconscionable that the FBI is still carrying out late-term investigations in 2016. This is not who we are. I’ve been involved in what I also call ‘partial-truth investigations’ since I was first lady of Arkansas. I tell partial truths, but mainly lies, because that’s how…

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FBI’s Comey Regrets Hillary Clinton’s Birthday Present Arrived Late

WASHINGTON – The announcement was big, and it got all the attention he’d hoped it would get, but FBI Director James Comey’s surprise birthday present for Hillary Clinton just couldn’t get there on time. The gift unfortunately arrived two days late. “I feel bad about that,” Comey told Congress in a letter. “I had wanted to give Hillary the big news that we were reopening the investigation into her emails on the 26th, which is her big day, but you know how slow the government works. Our agents just couldn’t…

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Possible Pseudonyms Used by President Obama in Hillary Emails

WASHINGTON – In case you’ve been too distracted by the riots in Charlotte, the FBI had another one of their “don’t look at these” document dumps on Friday afternoon. This time, revealing that President Obama not only knew about Hillary Clinton’s private email setup, but he used a pseudonym (false name or alias) to communicate with her to avoid detection. Hard to believe, but your president lied to you AGAIN¬†last year when he tried to tell America that he only learned of Clinton’s secret email practices from news reports at…

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Hillary Clinton “Can’t Recall” If She’s Running for President or Not

recall

NEW YORK – Notes from the FBI’s questioning of Hillary Clinton this summer show Mrs. Clinton couldn’t recall whether she received training for classified information, was told that her server could cause legal problems for her, or much of anything else, for that matter. When asked by an agent whether her running for president was consistent with her lack of knowledge and recall on everything, Mrs. Clinton answered, “I’M not running for president (cackling). Am I?” When the agent confirmed that she was, she shrugged her shoulders and said, “Well,…

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