Fox News Says Judge Napolitano Benched for “Disturbingly Low Hairline”

NEW YORK – Sources at Fox News Channel are denying reports that popular legal analyst Judge Andrew Napolitano was suspended from the network because of comments he made regarding former President Obama using British assistance to wiretap President Trump last year. The reality, the sources insist, is much darker. They claim the judge was let go due to his “disturbingly low hairline.” “We overlooked this aspect of Judge Napolitano as long as we could. Don’t get me wrong, he’s brilliant, and a great guy, but he was scaring some of…

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Megyn Kelly Ends Newt Segment Saying ‘This is CNN’

NEW YORK – News diva Megyn Kelly ended a contentious segment on last night’s show, a segment in which she argued with former Speaker Newt Gingrich about Donald Trump and the Clintons, by saying, “This…..is CNN. We’ll be right back.” Kelly, whose smug bitchiness has become her trademark since the first Republican debate, seems to have been auditioning for a spot at CNN, MSNBC, or one of the main networks since last year. From the night of her period at that first debate, Kelly has been alienating her viewer base…

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