Colin Kaepernick: The Hillary Clinton of the Football World

NEW YORK CITY – Disgruntled kneeler, Colin Kaepernick, has become the Hillary Clinton of the National Football League. The former quarterback, just like Hillary, is on the outside looking in as the world goes on spinning without a care about them. Now, Colin is filing a grievance against NFL team owners for colluding to keep him out of football. Apparently, the team owners are the Russians, working behind the scenes to keep him off the playing field. Kaepernick is definitely working right out of Hillary’s playbook. Jerry Jones, owner of…

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Cam Newton: “It’s Funny Having Female Ask Me About Making Passes”

Cam

N CAROLINA – Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton has landed in hot water after a flippant response he gave to a feminist sports reporter. When asked by reporter Jourdan Rodrique if one of his receivers enjoyed the way he makes passes at them, Cam sheepishly laughed and said, “It’s funny to hear a female talking about me making passes.” Rodrique used the code-word “routes” in her question to Newton to “try to make it sound like I knew what I was talking about,” but Cam knew what she meant. “Does…

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Maxine Waters Says ‘Impeach 45’ Chant Was Reference to Trump’s Jersey Number

WASHINGTON – Football and politics have become insanely intertwined recently. Between all the kneel downs, put downs, first downs and race clowns, America is getting confused about what the protests from NFL players are really all about. Leave it to congresswoman Maxine Waters to clarify things for us. Waters has become known for screeching the chant “Impeach 45! Impeach 45!” at all of her speeches, directed at President Trump. But Aunt Maxie, whose antenna doesn’t pick up very many channels, if you know what we mean, is usually off the…

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Jill Stein Files for Recount of Heisman Trophy Voting

NEW YORK CITY – Green Party presidential candidate and professional recount activist, Dr. Jill Stein, has announced that she will be challenging the results of The Heisman Trophy race. The award, given to the nation’s top college football player, is on December 10 this year, but Stein has already announced plans to demand a recount – regardless of who the winner is. Stein, a self-styled recount justice warrior (RJW), when asked why she’s requesting the Heisman recount, answers, “What else do I have going on?” Already acting indignant about the…

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