Democrats Freaking Because Pre-Existing Condition of Liberalism May Not Be Covered

WASHINGTON – While many pre-existing conditions will be addressed as Congress continues to work out details of a new health care bill, Democrats are freaking out, worrying that their debilitating, degenerative condition known as liberalism may not be covered in new legislation. Obamacare covered this mental illness, though many Democrats could not afford the high deductibles for coverage. The condition is technically known as “Democrat’s Dementia” (DD). The name is derived from “Dem” for Democrat and the Latin suffix “-mentia,” meaning “condition of the mind.” Symptoms of DD include; automatically…

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Paul Ryan Even Screws Up Own Family’s Drive-Thru Order

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WISCONSIN – Fresh off bungling his party’s attempt at repealing Obamacare, House Speaker Paul Ryan had hoped to relax with his family this weekend and enjoy a drive in the country. But proving his embarrassing attempt at passing legislation wasn’t a one-off, Ryan couldn’t even get his family’s order right at a Taco Bell when they stopped for lunch. Ryan approached the drive-thru menu and speaker with his usual optimistic and confident facial expression. Halfway through the family’s order, however, it was obvious something was wrong. First, his kids changed…

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Republicans Gamble, Come Up Short on Healthcare

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WASHINGTON – Republican lawmakers failed in their attempt to gamble with, and pass, new healthcare legislation today. The defeat was a big choke for Republican leadership, especially Speaker Paul Ryan. Ryan was clearly out of his league on this one. Soon after a vote was aborted, and the attempt to trash Obamacare was declared dead, President Trump spoke to the press about why he decided to pull the plug on the GOP plan, rather than continue to gamble on its passage. The transcript of his remarks are provided here: President…

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