Trump Plans to Conquer Kim With Hooters, Zingers at Nuke Summit

Zingers

WASHINGTON – President Trump has a reputation for being 5 moves ahead of his critics – and it’s a well-deserved reputation. The upcoming nuke summit with North Korean leader Kim Jong-un will be his next work of art. “We’ve sent the North Koreans a proposal to hold our joint meeting on nuclear talks at the Hooters restaurant in Hawaii, the Aloha Tower Marketplace location,” Trump spokeswoman Sarah Sanders told reporters on Friday. “In addition, the president will introduce the North Korean leader to the delicious, sugary snack cakes called Zingers.…

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Most Women Still Insist Size of Nuclear Button Matters

WASHINGTON – President Trump upped the ante yesterday in the escalating nuclear war of words between the United States and North Korea. After NK’s leader Kim Jong-un bragged about his nuclear button, President Trump reminded the world that his nuclear button is bigger – and works better – than Kim’s. Critics of President Trump aren’t happy with his ‘size’ statements, saying that when it comes to nuclear weapons, size doesn’t matter. That as long as you can get the job done, that’s all that matters. However, a majority of American…

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Obama’s North Korea Advice: “Just Wait for Kim to Die Someday”

SOUTH KOREA – Former president Barack Obama is still under the false assumption that anybody actually give’s a rip what he thinks about anything. But that’s never stopped him before. While meeting with South Korea’s leader last week, Obama took the opportunity to trash President Trump, apologize for America being responsible for all evil in the world, and give his advice for how to handle the current North Korean nuclear threat. “Well, if I were still in office, I wouldn’t do a thing. That was always my modus operandi, unless…

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North Korea Unveils Newest Rocket, Tests Planned

PINGPONG, N KOREA – Try as they might, North Korea hasn’t had much luck with their rocket launches lately. They’d like to impress their enemies by showing off the nation’s military might, but tests have so far been less than intimidating. The country’s leader, Kim Jong-un, is proud to now show off his newest and best rocket. Called the “Hot Rocket 1970,” the structure towers four stories high. Kim says the name comes from the fact that parts of the rocket get very hot in the sun. “Our prototype had…

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North Korea Set to Test “Redheaded Stepchild of All Bombs”

PING PONG, N. KOREA – The United States today dropped what they are calling “the mother of all bombs” on ISIS targets in Afghanistan. Russia has an arsenal of massive bombs they refer to as “the father of all bombs.” Now, North Korea is set to test what is being called “the redheaded stepchild of all bombs” to show its own military might. The “redheaded stepchild bomb” gets no respect in the ordnance industry, or from other countries. North Korea’s leader, the crazy fat kid, gets no respect from other…

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