Liberals Hyperventilating Over Paris Climate Pull Out Raising CO2 Levels!

WASHINGTON – The sky is falling! Progressive outrage, and liberals hyperventilating over President Trump’s withdrawal of the United States from the Paris Climate Accord, is causing a disturbing rise in the world’s carbon dioxide levels. Media pundits, Barack Obama, Leo DiCaprio, world leaders, Al Gore, and others overreacting to the move by Trump are having such fits that their whining and gnashing of teeth are causing CO2 levels to rise. How much, we don’t yet know. Climate scientists haven’t finished cooking the books on the numbers yet. Progressives are quoting…

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The Grumpys Awards Show Promises Lots of Trump Bashing, Some Music

grumpys

HOLLYWOOD – Many of us enjoyed watching The Grammys in our younger days, when the show was about the music. Sadly, that show has been replaced with The Grumpys. The Grumpys will air tonight so that social justice warriors, some who also sing and produce music, can air their political grievances. Since the rich and famous are smarter than the rest of us, the awards show will feature numerous rants about how stupid Donald Trump and his supporters are – with a few musical performances in between. The show is…

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Constant Liberal Butthurt Has Created a Permanent Protester Class

protester

The Church of the Perpetually Offended has spawned a new cult – the permanent, professional protester class. The cult is made up of people who have nothing better to do, especially when they aren’t getting their way on the issues of the day. Following the liberal butthurt exhibited after the November elections, and their religion of Liberalism being rejected at all levels of government, many have decided to become protesters. It looks great on a resume, doesn’t it? Bobby Watson, an on-call protester from Chicago, says he goes wherever the…

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Liberals Turn to “Alexa” For Answers on Stopping Trump Inauguration

LOS ANGELES – Snowflake college students and Hollywood elites have so far come up empty in their attempts to stop next week’s inauguration. Now, they’re turning to their last resort as a way to stop Donald Trump from ever becoming our 45th President. Recounts, Hollywood celebrity videos, threats to riot, and even Rosie O’Donnell calling for martial law to be implemented, have not worked. The responsibility now lies with the wisdom of Amazon Echo’s “Alexa” to come up with a workable plan. Students, celebrities, and Democrats across the country have…

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Christmas 2016: The Year of the Revenge Gift

NORTH POLE – Santa has reported a huge surge in “revenge” gift giving this year, as liberals continue to be incapable of controlling their anger and bitterness following the crushing defeat of their Queen Hillary. To express their hatred toward family members who had the gall to vote for Donald Trump, many are planning to spite those they reluctantly have to call “family.” Disgruntled Democrats are making donations to organizations like Planned Parenthood, The Sierra Club, the DNC, and others, in a Trump-voting family member’s name. The crybabies believe they…

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Democrats Suffering From “Trumpression” Seeking Help Nationwide

PALM SPRINGS – The recent presidential election has been so devastating to many on the American Left, that millions are now seeking mental health assistance for a condition they call “Trumpression.” Trumpression is defined as “a state of prolonged sadness or apathy resulting from the smack-down of Hillary Clinton in the 2016 election by Donald Trump.” The Precious Pansy is a mental health clinic here, a safe space in the desert, that specializes in helping celebrities and average snowflakes learn survival skills for the next 4-8 years. The clinic’s director,…

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