GOP’s McConnell, Ryan ‘Confident We Can Screw Up Tax Reform Too’

WASHINGTON – Still licking their wounds after being humiliated by Senator John McCain (D-AZ) in the latest Obamacare repeal effort, Senate Majority leader Mitch McConnell and House Speaker Paul Ryan said they still believe they can fail in the future too. “We still feel extremely confident that we can screw up tax reform, which is coming up next, and anything else that we attempt to tackle on behalf of the American people,” McConnell said. “We don’t know how much longer we’ll have Senator McCain around to help us screw the…

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Mitch McConnell Delays Recess for Congressional Babies

recess

WASHINGTON – Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell broke the bad news to the children in Congress yesterday – no recess time until you buckle down and complete your work. He reminded his colleagues that recess is a privilege, not a right. “Look, I love the jungle gym as much as anybody,” a grim McConnell deadpanned, “But we need to stop playing before we work. Just because that’s how Mr. Obama did things, it doesn’t mean it’s the best way.” Playground bully, Democrat Chuckie Schumer, wasn’t pleased to hear the news.…

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Reebok Honors Liz Warren With “Nevertheless, She Perspired” Shirt

Reebok

CANTON, MA – In case you missed it, last week on the floor of the US Senate, Mass. Senator Elizabeth Warren was chastised for rebuking fellow Senator Jeff Sessions in the lead up to his confirmation as the new Attorney General. The incident lead to local athletic manufacturer Reebok releasing a new t-shirt to show support for Warren. Her tormentor? Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. While Liz feels she was unfairly targeted, McConnell gave his explanation of what happened: “Senator Warren was droning on and on about some letter she…

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