Tests on Lab Rats Show Detrimental Effects of Joe Scarborough’s Music

scarborough

NEW YORK – In case you missed it – lucky you – MSNBC’s former-Republican talk show host, Joe Scarborough, has decided to punish the world by releasing a music video for a song about President Trump. The song is called Mystified, and you will be as well. To prove just how terrible, lame, and sucktastic Joe’s foray into the music world is, a group of lab rats were subjected to the sights and sounds of his video. The results were as dramatic and nauseating as you might have guessed. Of the…

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Trump Sending B-52’s To South Korea

SEOUL – With North Korea’s crazy little boy leader flexing his military muscle recently by launching missiles toward Japan, the United States is sending in the big guns to show support for our allies in the region. President Trump has ordered rock group The B-52’s to South Korea immediately. “I just want them to Roam around near the demilitarized zone, along the Korean border,” Trump stated. “Kim Jong-un will be plenty nervous once he sees our B-52’s positioned so close to his country. That, I can assure you.” B-52 Fred…

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The Grumpys Awards Show Promises Lots of Trump Bashing, Some Music

grumpys

HOLLYWOOD – Many of us enjoyed watching The Grammys in our younger days, when the show was about the music. Sadly, that show has been replaced with The Grumpys. The Grumpys will air tonight so that social justice warriors, some who also sing and produce music, can air their political grievances. Since the rich and famous are smarter than the rest of us, the awards show will feature numerous rants about how stupid Donald Trump and his supporters are – with a few musical performances in between. The show is…

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Hillary Debuts Angry Singing Style on ‘The Voice’

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HOLLYWOOD – Trying to divert attention away from the ongoing FBI investigation into her email issues, Hillary Clinton made a surprise appearance on The Voice, a singing competition show. She stunned the crowd with her stage presence and the way the stage fans blew her hair back throughout her performance. Her vocals were a different story: Judge Adam Levine: “I’m not sure what I just witnessed. I love Hillary, but this made fingernails on a chalkboard sound like a lullaby. Was she shouting a campaign speech to music? I have…

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New Study: Do Fat Bottomed Girls Really ‘Make the Rockin’ World Go Round’?

Ithaca, NY – After years of tireless research at Cornell University, professors have released a study that brings into question the long-accepted fact the late great Freddie Mercury, from the rock band Queen, proclaimed to the world – Fat bottomed girls make the rockin’ world go round. For decades, scientists went along with the wisdom that Brian May, Queen’s guitarist, wrote about and Mr. Mercury espoused in their song of the same name. But recently, many in the field of physics and astronomy have begun quietly questioning whether the lyrics…

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