GOP’s McConnell, Ryan ‘Confident We Can Screw Up Tax Reform Too’

WASHINGTON – Still licking their wounds after being humiliated by Senator John McCain (D-AZ) in the latest Obamacare repeal effort, Senate Majority leader Mitch McConnell and House Speaker Paul Ryan said they still believe they can fail in the future too. “We still feel extremely confident that we can screw up tax reform, which is coming up next, and anything else that we attempt to tackle on behalf of the American people,” McConnell said. “We don’t know how much longer we’ll have Senator McCain around to help us screw the…

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Paul Ryan Even Screws Up Own Family’s Drive-Thru Order

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WISCONSIN – Fresh off bungling his party’s attempt at repealing Obamacare, House Speaker Paul Ryan had hoped to relax with his family this weekend and enjoy a drive in the country. But proving his embarrassing attempt at passing legislation wasn’t a one-off, Ryan couldn’t even get his family’s order right at a Taco Bell when they stopped for lunch. Ryan approached the drive-thru menu and speaker with his usual optimistic and confident facial expression. Halfway through the family’s order, however, it was obvious something was wrong. First, his kids changed…

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Republicans Gamble, Come Up Short on Healthcare

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WASHINGTON – Republican lawmakers failed in their attempt to gamble with, and pass, new healthcare legislation today. The defeat was a big choke for Republican leadership, especially Speaker Paul Ryan. Ryan was clearly out of his league on this one. Soon after a vote was aborted, and the attempt to trash Obamacare was declared dead, President Trump spoke to the press about why he decided to pull the plug on the GOP plan, rather than continue to gamble on its passage. The transcript of his remarks are provided here: President…

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Trump Signs Four Executive Orders in His Sleep

WASHINGTON – President Trump is in the zone. He’s come out of the gate at full speed during his first week in office. Following a flurry of executive orders that were needed to begin repairing the damage that was the Obama presidency, Trump is a dynamo. So much so, that House Speaker Paul Ryan announced the president signed four more executive orders in his sleep last night. It’s well known that the president only sleeps a few hours each night, and it doesn’t seem that even his down time slows…

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