politics

The New Hillary Clinton – Rapper, Poet, Comedian

The New Hillary Clinton – Rapper, Poet, Comedian

SAN FRANCISCO – Speaking to a women’s business group yesterday, recently-freed-from-the-wilds Hillary Clinton workshopped her clever new mantra for 2017. She delighted the audience…

Democrats’ Knees Continue to Jerk, No Cure in Sight

Democrats’ Knees Continue to Jerk, No Cure in Sight

WASHINGTON – Due to extreme, overused knee-jerking on issue after issue, doctors are reporting a steep increase each year in knee problems from their patients who identify as Democrats…

“Drug-Fueled” Kaine and Disabled Ticket Takes Hit After VP Debate

“Drug-Fueled” Kaine and Disabled Ticket Takes Hit After VP Debate

VIRGINIA – After watching the Vice-Presidential debate on Tuesday, one thing was clear – Tim Kaine must have been on something. He was up and down and all over…

Huma Abedin: “Muslim Faith Helped Me Hold On To My Weiner”

Huma Abedin: “Muslim Faith Helped Me Hold On To My Weiner”

CLEVELAND – After wrapping up a campaign event here for her boss, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, Huma Abedin told reporters that it was her Muslim faith that saw her through…

Trump Drops Border Wall Talk: “We’ll Use Lasers”

Trump Drops Border Wall Talk: “We’ll Use Lasers”

NEW YORK – Presidential candidate Donald Trump has updated his vision for solving America’s illegal immigration problem. Trump has been criticized for his talk about constructing a tall…

Pantsuit Industry Nervous About Prospects of Hillary Loss

Pantsuit Industry Nervous About Prospects of Hillary Loss

BANGLADESH – Speaking through an interpreter, the owner of a textile factory in this South Asian country spoke to us about the nervousness those in the third-world, pantsuit sweatshop…

Latino Group Gives Hillary “Four Pendejos” For Email Lies

Latino Group Gives Hillary “Four Pendejos” For Email Lies

LAS VEGAS – Politicians are known for lying to us, but Hillary Clinton lies to the point of insanity. Her latest effort has caused the Latino Bikers for Trump group…

Recap of Democratic National Convention – ICYMI

Recap of Democratic National Convention – ICYMI

PHILLY – For those who may have missed the splendor of the Democratic National Convention, here is a recap of highlights from the event: Monday – The convention was kicked…

Hillary Promises to Thank Bernie-Bots for Being “Useful Idiots”

Hillary Promises to Thank Bernie-Bots for Being “Useful Idiots”

PHILLY – In a move designed to bring unity to the party, Hillary Clinton’s campaign has leaked to the media that Mrs. Clinton does plan to at least…

Hand Gestures Reveal Donald Trump’s Past Occupations

Hand Gestures Reveal Donald Trump’s Past Occupations

CLEVELAND – A body language expert has used their scientific analysis to determine Donald Trump’s hidden, past job history – based solely on his hand gestures. Following the…