Tests on Lab Rats Show Detrimental Effects of Joe Scarborough’s Music

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NEW YORK – In case you missed it – lucky you – MSNBC’s former-Republican talk show host, Joe Scarborough, has decided to punish the world by releasing a music video for a song about President Trump. The song is called Mystified, and you will be as well.

To prove just how terrible, lame, and sucktastic Joe’s foray into the music world is, a group of lab rats were subjected to the sights and sounds of his video. The results were as dramatic and nauseating as you might have guessed.

Of the 11 lab rats exposed to the ill-conceived “stimuli,” 3 of the rats began bleeding from the ears during the first minute of the song. In addition, 4 rats instantly developed cancer from listening to Mystified, 2 more banged their heads against a wall throughout the experiment, 1 rat held up a sign that simply said “Shoot Me,” and 1 rat bastard actually liked that crap.

The video is too traumatic to include here. Plus, we like you people. However, the music is the worst thing since Yoko Ono sang Pink Floyd’s The Wall, in its entirety.

Still, if there’s a special someone in your life who you’d love to chase away forever, subjecting them to music from Joe Scarborough may be just the torture device you’re looking for.

** No actual rats were harmed in the experiment, as the “lab rats” who were tested were really graduate students in the biology program at Adelphi University in Garden City, NY.

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