INDIA – In her mind, she’s Wonder Woman. But in real life, 2-time presidential loser Hillary Clinton seems to have embraced her new career as a stunt woman. Almost every time she takes a trip (no pun intended) she breaks something on her bitter body.
Personal assistant Huma Abedin revealed the truth after Clinton’s latest fall on stairs in India, which resulted in a sprained hand for her – and a ton of laughs for the rest of us. “You wouldn’t know it by looking at her, but she’s a hell of a stunt woman in real life.”
Hillary has performed stunts on and off camera for decades now. She’s performed pratfalls stepping onto planes, falling into tables at home, being thrown into a waiting van on 9-11, and she has a love/hate relationship with stairs. “I like stairs because they let me go up or down,” Clinton said, “but, like white, Christian women, they don’t like me.” She’s suffered a broken toe and now a sprained hand due to stair stunts that went wrong.
“Like Tom Cruise, she’s always insisted on doing her own stunts,” Huma said. “Pain, concussions and broken bones come with the territory. Sadly, she fell short both times during her greatest stunts, in 2008 and again in 2016. She just couldn’t stick the landing either time.”
Hillary maintains that no matter how many bumps and bruises she suffers, no matter how many bones she breaks, nothing will ever affect her ability to come up with fresh excuses for her many failures. Break a leg, Hillary!