hearing

Ticket Prices Top $3K Each for Front Row at Comey Hearing

WASHINGTON – Ticket scalpers and representatives from StubHub have revealed that the ticket price for a front row seat at the Thursday congressional hearing with former FBI director James Comey has topped the $3,000 mark.

“I’m getting $1200 per for seats in the balcony!” one scalper told us. “It may turn out to be a complete dud, but this thing is selling like the Super Bowl. The place will be standing room only and, you know, there’s nothing like seeing a political hearing in person.”

Ticket outlet StubHub said they’re having to turn customers away. “We’ve had families that wanted to be up front, but we didn’t have multiple seats together. Most of them opted for cheaper seats farther away,” a spokesperson said.

Bart Tucker, a liberal college student from Georgetown University, was taking the situation in stride. “I thought the Comey hearing would be a great first date with this girl I asked out. We’re still going, but we’ll have to settle for seeing the back of his head from up in the nosebleeds.”

Bart’s date was disappointed that they couldn’t score better seats, but he reminded her that since Comey is almost 9 feet tall, they should still be able to see him pretty easily.

As for all those who couldn’t afford the steep ticket prices, they’ll just have to settle for watching the hearing from home or their favorite sports bar.

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  1. Rich Hoffer June 7, 2017 at 7:17 AM - Reply

    This is at the Capitol Building? DAMN! I paid $900 for seats at the Supreme Court thinking THAT was where it was going to be!

    • E. Williams June 7, 2017 at 12:49 PM Reply

      Dude, you’ve got to be careful. Lots of tickets to things like this are counterfeit!

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