Tricky Dicky Durbin Warns of Possible Government S***down

Durbin

WASHINGTON – Admitting he doesn’t like using the 4-letter word “sh*t,” Senator Tricky Dicky Durbin said today that he thinks the country is headed for a government s***down this weekend. Durbin is the senator who famously unleashed a s***storm of controversy over supposed s***hole comments made by President Trump in a meeting last week.

“With all the s*** going on at the moment – this DACA s***, amnesty, that s*** about a wall, chain migration – I just don’t see how both sides are going to come together in agreement to avoid a government s***down tomorrow night,” Tricky said.

“Democrats are ready to deal with the consequences when it happens, should s*** hit the fan in a few days.” In response to news that Democrats will likely take the blame for anything bad that happens as a result of the current negotiations, Tricky deadpanned, “F**k me!”

When asked if he meant a government “shutdown” instead, Durbin replied, “No, it’s a s***down. A straight up s***down.” Saying he doesn’t give a s*** what Americans think about the issues of the day, Durbin has become known as one of the s***tiest senators in Congress today.

Durbin insists that when it comes to Trump’s s***hole comment, “I heard what I heard. What can I say? Excrementally speaking, s*** happens.”

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