WASHINGTON – Speaking today to an astronaut on the International Space Station, President Trump announced that he would like to send Democrats and members of the media to Mars by the end of his first term in office. When asked which Democrats he was referring to, the president said, “ALL of them.”
“They call themselves progressives, but nothing is holding this country back more than Democrats,” Trump told the astronaut. “Mars seems like a great place where they can go and live without the existence of constant racism, sexism, gender identity issues, and Islamophobia. Obama can be their king, and Hillary or Michelle can be their queen.
“It may or may not turn out to be utopia for them there, but it sure as hell would make life a lot better for the rest of us here. That, I can tell you. And NASA tells me that, ‘In space, no one can hear you bitch, moan, or blame the Russians.’ I know we could all use a break from that.”
Trump is proposing one-way tickets for journeys to the Red Planet. He also said Mars would provide Democrats with their ultimate safe space – literally, in space.