Trump Plans to Conquer Kim With Hooters, Zingers at Nuke Summit

Zingers

WASHINGTON – President Trump has a reputation for being 5 moves ahead of his critics – and it’s a well-deserved reputation. The upcoming nuke summit with North Korean leader Kim Jong-un will be his next work of art.

“We’ve sent the North Koreans a proposal to hold our joint meeting on nuclear talks at the Hooters restaurant in Hawaii, the Aloha Tower Marketplace location,” Trump spokeswoman Sarah Sanders told reporters on Friday.

“In addition, the president will introduce the North Korean leader to the delicious, sugary snack cakes called Zingers. We’re flying a pallet of Zingers, assorted flavors, to Hawaii if Kim accepts our proposal.”

Zingers

Trump’s plan is to overwhelm Kim with scantily clad waitresses and a sugar high, the likes of which the North Korean dictator has never experienced. “He won’t stand a chance. Get a box or two of Zingers in that fat, little bastard and I’ll have him agreeing to anything.”

“I don’t care how deranged the guy is,” Trump continued, “you put a bunch of boobs and a box of Zingers in front of a fat boy, and he’ll do anything you say. Piece of cake. No pun intended.”

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