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Trump Hopes to Send Democrats to Mars By End of First Term

Trump Hopes to Send Democrats to Mars By End of First Term

WASHINGTON – Speaking today to an astronaut on the International Space Station, President Trump announced that he would like to send Democrats and members of the media to Mars by…

O’Reilly Leaves Fox News, Now Nobody Looking Out For You

O’Reilly Leaves Fox News, Now Nobody Looking Out For You

NEW YORK – It’s a tough time to be alive. For decades, America could relax at night because Bill O’Reilly and his O’Reilly Factor…

Georgia Democrat Jerkoff Needs More Money to Lose Runoff in June

Georgia Democrat Jerkoff Needs More Money to Lose Runoff in June

GEORGIA – It’s being called the “Jerkoff Runoff,” the race for Georgia’s 6th district, in which Democrats had high hopes that a fresh, young…

Beavis and Butt-Head Kick Off “Let’s Hate Trump” Tour

Beavis and Butt-Head Kick Off “Let’s Hate Trump” Tour

PORTLAND, MAINE – Democratic Party chairman Tom “Beavis” Perez and socialist Bernie “Butt-Head” Sanders kicked off their Let’s Hate Trump! tour to a…

North Korea Set to Test “Redheaded Stepchild of All Bombs”

North Korea Set to Test “Redheaded Stepchild of All Bombs”

PING PONG, N. KOREA – The United States today dropped what they are calling “the mother of all bombs” on ISIS targets in Afghanistan. Russia has an arsenal…

United Airlines Introduces New “Maybe Seats” On All Flights

United Airlines Introduces New “Maybe Seats” On All Flights

CHICAGO – On Sunday, United Airlines introduced their new “maybe seats” program. When customers book these random seats on a flight, they may be able to keep their…

Syria Strike Reminds World What a P*$$y Obama Was

Syria Strike Reminds World What a P*$$y Obama Was

FREE WORLD – Opinions differ on the motivation for, and the repercussions of, President Trump’s ordered military strike on Syria this week. Many world leaders applauded his move…

Twitter Changes Avatar to More Inclusive Image, World Peace Now Within Reach

Twitter Changes Avatar to More Inclusive Image, World Peace Now Within Reach

TWITTERVERSE – With all the division, chaos and strife in the world today, things just got a little more sane. Thank God, Twitter has updated their generic avatar “egg…

Insightful “Reasons To Vote For Democrats” Tops Amazon Book Charts

Insightful “Reasons To Vote For Democrats” Tops Amazon Book Charts

NEW YORK – The literary world is buzzing this week over the publication of a book detailing the state of the Democratic Party. “Reasons To Vote For Democrats&#8221…

Trump Sending B-52’s To South Korea

Trump Sending B-52’s To South Korea

SEOUL – With North Korea’s crazy little boy leader flexing his military muscle recently by launching missiles toward Japan, the United States is sending in the big guns…