Hawaii, 9th Circuit Judges Temporarily Block Sean Spicer’s Resignation

resignation

WHITE HOUSE – The Trump administration received word late Friday afternoon that Hawaii federal court judge Derrick Watson, along with judges from a 9th Circuit appeals panel, have blocked White House press secretary Sean Spicer’s resignation from taking effect. Spicer tendered his resignation letter Friday morning, basically saying “I am outta here” after the president decided to bring in Wall Street friend Anthony Scaramucci to run his communications department. The move effectively bans Spicer from holding his former job going forward but, again, liberal judges have stepped in and said…

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Trump, Putin Engage in Feats of Strength at G20 Summit Meeting

HAMBURG – In the much-anticipated meeting between President Trump and Russian President Putin at the G20 summit held this week, no one was sure whether the two would bond or not. However, it appears that Putin has much more respect for Trump than he did for former girly-man President Obama. Trump and Putin engaged in a “feats of strength” contest after a cordial meeting for the cameras. The two then met for over two hours, as the men tried to impress the other. First up was arm wrestling. Trump took…

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Obama’s North Korea Advice: “Just Wait for Kim to Die Someday”

SOUTH KOREA – Former president Barack Obama is still under the false assumption that anybody actually give’s a rip what he thinks about anything. But that’s never stopped him before. While meeting with South Korea’s leader last week, Obama took the opportunity to trash President Trump, apologize for America being responsible for all evil in the world, and give his advice for how to handle the current North Korean nuclear threat. “Well, if I were still in office, I wouldn’t do a thing. That was always my modus operandi, unless…

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Chris Christie’s Magic Baseball Cap Sunscreen No Longer Secret

Chris Christie

JERSEY SHORE – New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has had one of his beauty secrets exposed. On a 4th of July weekend, while the state’s beaches were closed to the public due to a state government slowdown, Christie was photographed on the beach, wearing a magic baseball cap that apparently deflects all harmful rays from the sun. And it works for the entire body which, in Christie’s case, is no small feat! The governor finally explained how his “sunscreen cap” works after he was caught in a lie, saying he…

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CNN Viewers Confused: “Is Russia Story BS or a Big Nothing-Burger?”

nothing-burger

ATLANTA – CNN is having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week. And their viewers are too. Undercover videos, released by Project Veritas this week, have shown a CNN producer calling the Trump/Russia story “bullsh*t.” Meanwhile, network contributor Van Jones calls the story “just a big nothing-burger.” CNN’s viewers are left scratching their heads. “Well, which is it?” viewer Brett Kaufman asked. “If the next person comes out and says ‘there’s no there, there,’ I’m going to kick somebody’s can down the road. I won’t know what the hell…

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Shakespeare Embarrassed by Trump Assassination Play in Park

shakespeare

NEW YORK – The ghost of William Shakespeare appeared tonight in Manhattan, briefly, and expressed his disgust and embarrassment at the way progressives have bastardized his play Julius Caesar with their interpretation of it. The left has inserted a President Trump character in the leading role, and are calling it art. “What are these fools doing to my work?!” an exasperated Shakespeare asked. “The left should not be afraid of Trump. Some are born Trump, some achieve Trumpness, and some have Trumpness thrust upon them. That’s just life.” “Like I always…

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As Owner of WaPo, Bezos Considering Name Change From Whole Foods to Fake Foods

AUSTIN – The Washington Post (WaPo) has become known for its fake news. So it makes sense that when the paper’s owner, Amazon owner Jeff Bezos, bought grocery chain Whole Foods for over $13 billion today, he announced he’s considering changing the store’s name to “Fake Foods.” WaPo, along with The New York Times, are the National Enquirer of the mainstream media. Will the same happen to Whole Foods after the acquisition of the brand by Bezos? Exciting changes are in store for the grocery industry due to the big…

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Some Progressives Unaware ‘The Purge’ Was Just a Movie

purge

WASHINGTON – Apparently, many on the left were not aware that The Purge was just a movie, and is not a thing in real life. The shooting of a congressman, and other Republicans, by a crazy progressive, shows us that. Many in the fascist antifa movement even dress just like characters from The Purge movies. And based on their actions, they act like “purging” their enemies is an actual event. The left has tried to turn the spotlight back on the right, blaming President Trump’s rhetoric for their craziness. It just…

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Feminists Angry “Wonder Woman” Not Like Them, Want “Wonder Bitch” Movie

HOLLYWOOD – They’ve got their knives out again. Feminists, led by Gloria Steinem and her Ms. Magazine, are upset that the latest Wonder Woman character currently ruling the box office is not more like them. They want “Wonder Bitch” to hit the big screen. “It’s just not realistic to my mind,” a Ms. Magazine writer said. “This Wonder Woman is beautiful, has perfect hair, a perfect body. She’s a badass, but also lets her emotions enter into her decisions. Emotions like love. There’s already too much love in this world.…

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