WASHINGTON – Newly elected Democrats completed the swearing-in of the 116th motherf**king Congress last week. And judging by early reviews, this new Congress promises to be a real sh*tstorm.
Incoming Detroit congresswoman Rashida Tlaib put the swearing-in ceremony in perspective. “Look, I get that taking the oath is a dignified and f**king solemn occasion. So, I really had to hold back today. I swore I wouldn’t swear today, but, what the f**k? I hate that (Trump) motherf**ker!”
Tlaib said her main focus during her first term in office will be to undermine our Constitution, while promoting a socialist agenda instead. “I hate this country, and I hate that piece of sh*t president we have. So I proudly stand behind my motherf**king comments about him today.”
Tlaib’s oath consisted of saying, “I do solemnly swear to ignore the Constitution, so help me, Palestine.”
Democratic darling Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez used her brilliant political mind to back up Tlaib’s potty mouth. “Look at the word ‘discuss.’ The majority of the word is ‘cuss.’ How can we, like, seriously discuss things in our country without cussing? And how can you, like, be sworn in without swearing? Do you see now why I’m the brains of our Party? Now, let’s tear this f**ker down!”
Democrats released their mission statement for the 116th Congress, which read: “We pledge to impeach the orange motherf**ker, kick ass and take names of our enemies, enrich only ourselves, get rid of that dumbass electoral college, install a huge welcome mat along our borders, and promise a lot of free sh*t to voters.”
F**k. It’s going to be a long two years.