Michael Wolff’s New Book Fire and Fury: My Battle Passing a Kidney Stone

fury

NEW YORK – Author Michael Wolff, the hit-piece writer who Sloppy Steve Bannon allowed access to the White House during President Trump’s first term, has released his much talked about book,¬†Fire and Fury: My Battle Passing a Kidney Stone. The book contains a few political punches because the episode occurred while Wolff was at the White House. “I’ve never felt that kind of pain,” Wolff wrote. “I was taping a conversation I was having with Ivanka, and thinking about how I was going to twist her words to make her…

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Most Women Still Insist Size of Nuclear Button Matters

WASHINGTON – President Trump upped the ante yesterday in the escalating nuclear war of words between the United States and North Korea. After NK’s leader Kim Jong-un bragged about his nuclear button, President Trump reminded the world that his nuclear button is bigger – and works better – than Kim’s. Critics of President Trump aren’t happy with his ‘size’ statements, saying that when it comes to nuclear weapons, size doesn’t matter. That as long as you can get the job done, that’s all that matters. However, a majority of American…

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Bomb Cyclone and Other New Scary Weather Terms for 2018

AUSTIN – Meteorologists frustrated with the American public’s reluctance to buy into their constant scare tactics about climate change are hoping an update to their weather glossary will work better. Just today, as a nor’easter bears down on the east coast, media reports referred to the storm as a “Bomb Cyclone.” OMG! Other new weather terms for 2018 will be announced at a weather symposium this weekend in Austin, Texas by Penn State glaciologist, Dr. Richard Allee. Among the new terms to be used in addition to “bomb cyclone” to…

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Trump Says 2018 So Bright We’ve Gotta Wear Shades

shades

MAR-A-LAGO – As America rang in the new year, President Trump told the country “2018’s so bright, we’ve gotta wear shades.” Referencing a song by the ’80’s group Timbuk 3, he said 2018 will be a stellar one for both the American economy and the country’s standing in the world. He conceded that the haters would continue to be “blinded by the light,” to “trip the merry-go-round,” and remain in the dark as to why he won the presidency in the first place. Trump said those in the fake news…

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