AOC Traumatized After Car Being Driven By Ted Cruz Backfires

traumatized

WASHINGTON – Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was unable to work Friday after being traumatized from an incident involving a fellow politician. A day before, AOC had accused Senator Ted Cruz of trying to have her murdered during the unrest at the Capitol on Jan. 6. Whether it’s climate change, economics, or anything Republican-related, AOC is considered the drama queen of all drama queens. She accused Ted Cruz’s words of making her a marked woman, when Cruz did nothing of the sort. Still, she pretends to be on edge. On Friday morning, as…

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Biden Signs Exec Order Refilling DC Swamp To Pre-Trump Levels

DC Swamp

WASHINGTON – Joe Biden signed his most important (to the Democrat Party) executive order in his first week in office. The Only Good DC Swamp Is A Full DC Swamp order was signed Friday in the Oval Office. Members of the administration, fellow Democrats, and the mainstream media all cheered the signing. During the Trump administration, the president drained the Swamp about 39%. But that left the majority of the swamp to remain an ongoing breeding ground for anti-American corruption. And now that Democrats have total power, many creatures banished…

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Kamala Embarrassed After Getting On Knees To Take VP Oath

WASHINGTON – Democrat Kamala Harris was sworn in today as the new Vice-President of the FSA (Fractured States of America). However, her swearing in was marred by an embarrassing moment when Harris assumed her usual position to take the VP oath. Kamala got down on her knees and raised her right hand. Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor administered the oath of office. But before she began, Sotomayor whispered, “Honey, you don’t have to do that anymore. You’re practically president now.” A slightly embarrassed Harris, helped to her feet by her…

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Antifa Rioter With ‘AOC Eyes’ Arrested After Posing As MAGA Supporter

AOC eyes

UTAH – A Antifa/BLM thug was arrested this week for his part in the Capitol riots last week. John Sullivan, faces federal charges for being such a dick. The young anarchist posed as a journalist and MAGA supporter as he incited violence among the crowd. Sullivan popped up on a FBI watch list due to his ‘AOC eyes.’ The name is given for the look of “wide-eyed crazy” made popular by Congresshuman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. A doctor from the Mayo Clinic described AOC eyes like this. “AOC eyes is a condition…

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VP Pence Confuses Pelosi As US House ‘Repeaches’ Trump

US House

WASHINGTON – Vice President Mike Pence threw US House Speaker Nancy Pelosi a curve ball yesterday. Nancy had requested Pence invoke the 25th Amendment to the US Constitution to have President Trump removed from office. Democrats have ginned up the idea that Trump incited violence at the Capitol last week. Instead, Pence responded in a letter which invoked the 1st, 5th, and 10th Amendments. The Speaker was confused by the VP’s response. “Mike sent back something about free speech nonsense, due process, and limiting our government’s power. None of those…

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Joe Biden Calls For Establishing Dept. Of Feigned Democratic Outrage

feigned

WASHINGTON – As he prepares to assume the presidency, Joe Biden is already planning changes to our government structure. One addition he wants to make – the creation of the Department of Feigned Democratic Outrage. “We need a central agency that controls narratives, releases talking points, and perpetuates double standards. One that ensures that Democrats ALWAYS jumps the shark when it comes to faking outrage at our opponents,” a weary looking Biden told reporters. “For instance, just this week, President Trump held a rally that was followed by minimal violence…

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Chris Cuomo, Don Lemon Slam Pro-Trump Protests For Doing It Wrong

pro-Trump

CAPITOL HILL – CNN anchor-bros Chris Cuomo and Don Lemon were disgusted at what they saw at the US Capitol this afternoon. A pro-Trump crowd stormed the House and Senate chambers to protest certifying November’s election results. Then things got ugly. However, the two Democratic hacks said the pro-Trump supporters were ‘doing it wrong.’ Cuomo said, “I don’t know what I’m looking at! This is not a protest. I’m not even sure how to describe to our viewers what I’m seeing right now.” “I know,” a disgusted Don Lemon replied.…

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